科技生活類故事 寫作導(dǎo)圖 一、情節(jié)設(shè)計技巧 1． 轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn)設(shè)計 Just as she was about to give up, the smartwatch vibrated with an emergency alert. （正當(dāng)她要放棄時，智能手表突然發(fā)出緊急警報振動） 解析：用時間狀語從句構(gòu)建緊張轉(zhuǎn)折，vibrated體現(xiàn)科技產(chǎn)品特性，alert引出后續(xù)救援情節(jié) The drone camera captured something even human eyes couldn't see in the storm. （無人機(jī)攝像頭捕捉到了暴風(fēng)雨中肉眼無法看到的畫面） 解析：technology+human對比句式，用couldn't see突出科技優(yōu)勢，為后續(xù)發(fā)現(xiàn)關(guān)鍵線索鋪墊 His trembling fingers finally managed to activate the voice command: 'Call emergency contact.' （他顫抖的手指終于激活了語音指令：撥打緊急聯(lián)系人） 解析：細(xì)節(jié)動作+科技指令的直接引用，增強(qiáng)場景真實(shí)感，自然引出救援進(jìn)展 Three beeps from the health monitor changed everything they had planned that night. （健康監(jiān)測儀的三聲提示音改變了他們當(dāng)晚的所有計劃） 解析：擬聲詞+被動語態(tài)制造懸念，暗示科技產(chǎn)品即將引發(fā)重要情節(jié)轉(zhuǎn)折 2． 細(xì)節(jié)呼應(yīng) The cracked phone screen from paragraph 1 now displayed life-saving information. （第一段提到的碎裂手機(jī)屏幕此刻顯示著救命信息） 解析：cracked呼應(yīng)前文，now形成時間對比，體現(xiàn)科技產(chǎn)品在危急時刻的作用 Grandma's initial distrust of robots melted when the mechanical arm steadied her teacup. （當(dāng)機(jī)械臂穩(wěn)住茶杯時，奶奶最初對機(jī)器人的不信任消融了） 解析：melted體現(xiàn)情感轉(zhuǎn)變，steadied呼應(yīng)前文老人手抖的設(shè)定，展現(xiàn)科技人文關(guān)懷 The GPS dot they had laughed at earlier became their only hope in the wilderness. （他們早前嘲笑過的GPS定位點(diǎn)成了荒野中唯一的希望） 解析：had laughed過去完成時強(qiáng)調(diào)前因后果，only hope突出科技重要性 Fluorescent lights in the smart fridge illuminated the handwritten note they almost missed. （智能冰箱的熒光燈照亮了他們差點(diǎn)錯過的親筆信） 解析：環(huán)境細(xì)節(jié)+科技產(chǎn)品功能結(jié)合，自然推動情節(jié)發(fā)展 二、科技元素融入 1． 智能設(shè)備描寫 The AI speaker kept repeating safety reminders in its calm synthetic voice. （人工智能音箱用平靜的合成音不斷重復(fù)安全提醒） 解析：synthetic voice精準(zhǔn)描述科技產(chǎn)品特征，kept repeating體現(xiàn)程序化特性 Holographic instructions floated in the air, guiding her through the emergency procedure. （全息操作指南懸浮空中，指導(dǎo)她完成應(yīng)急流程） 解析：holographic科技感詞匯，floated生動體現(xiàn)技術(shù)特性 Bio-sensors embedded in the mattress detected abnormal heart rhythms immediately. （床墊內(nèi)置的生物傳感器立即檢測到異常心律） 解析：embedded顯示科技融入生活，detected體現(xiàn)自動監(jiān)測功能 The translation earpiece buzzed with real-time conversion of the doctor's foreign words. （翻譯耳麥實(shí)時轉(zhuǎn)換醫(yī)生的外語時發(fā)出嗡嗡聲） 解析：buzzed擬聲詞+real-time展示科技即時性 2． 通訊工具運(yùn)用 FaceTime's shaky video feed revealed the subtle facial drooping doctors needed to see. （視頻通話的晃動畫面恰好顯示醫(yī)生需要觀察的面部下垂） 解析：shaky與subtle形成對比，體現(xiàn)遠(yuǎn)程醫(yī)療價值 Emergency GPS coordinates automatically shared through the smartwatch's SOS function. （智能手表SOS功能自動分享了緊急GPS坐標(biāo)） 解析：automatically展示科技自主性，through引出工作原理 The family group chat exploded with concerned messages translated into 20 languages. （家庭群聊瞬間涌入被翻譯成20種語言的關(guān)切信息） 解析：exploded動詞活化科技交流，translated體現(xiàn)跨文化特性 A single missed call from the AI caregiver started the chain of life-saving events. （AI看護(hù)系統(tǒng)的一個未接來電開啟了救命行動鏈） 解析：missed call制造懸念，chain比喻體現(xiàn)事件關(guān)聯(lián)性 三、語言表達(dá)提升 1． 科技動詞運(yùn)用 The app algorithm prioritized emergency contacts based on location data. （應(yīng)用程序算法根據(jù)定位數(shù)據(jù)優(yōu)先處理緊急聯(lián)系人） 解析：algorithm, prioritized精準(zhǔn)使用計算機(jī)術(shù)語 The drone footage was being livestreamed to the rescue headquarters. （無人機(jī)畫面正被實(shí)時傳輸?shù)骄仍笓]部） 解析：livestreamed體現(xiàn)現(xiàn)代傳輸技術(shù)，進(jìn)行時態(tài)增強(qiáng)現(xiàn)場感 Biometric authentication failed three times before recognizing her altered fingerprint. （生物識別認(rèn)證失敗三次后才識別出變化的指紋） 解析：authentication專業(yè)術(shù)語，before引導(dǎo)時間邏輯鏈 The robotic arm calibrated its movement to match the surgeon's trembling hands. （機(jī)械臂校準(zhǔn)動作以適應(yīng)醫(yī)生顫抖的雙手） 解析：calibrated技術(shù)動詞，to match表目的關(guān)系 2． 情感表達(dá)技巧 Her tears blurred the smartphone screen displaying the test results. （淚水模糊了顯示檢測結(jié)果的手機(jī)屏幕） 解析：blurred雙關(guān)情感與技術(shù)，displaying現(xiàn)在分詞作后置定語 The cold metal surface of the robot unexpectedly felt comforting against her palm. （機(jī)器人冰冷的金屬表面意外地讓她掌心感到溫暖） 解析：cold與comforting對比，unexpectedly制造情感反轉(zhuǎn) Digital readouts flashed reassuring numbers where human reassurance had failed. （在人類安慰失效時，電子讀數(shù)閃爍著令人安心的數(shù)字） 解析：where引導(dǎo)對比狀語從句，reassuring體現(xiàn)科技溫度 The emotionless AI voice somehow contained the hope she desperately needed. （沒有感情的AI語音莫名承載著她急需的希望） 解析：somehow制造轉(zhuǎn)折，desperately副詞強(qiáng)化情感強(qiáng)度 四、主題升華方法 1． 科技雙面性 While technology isolated generations, today it bridged their understanding through translation software. （科技曾讓幾代人產(chǎn)生隔閡，而今通過翻譯軟件彌合了理解） 解析：while對比句式，bridged比喻溝通，點(diǎn)明主題轉(zhuǎn)變 The same internet that distracted teenagers saved Grandma's life that winter night. （那個讓青少年分心的互聯(lián)網(wǎng)，在冬夜救了奶奶的命） 解析：same...that強(qiáng)調(diào)科技雙刃劍特性，winter night具體化場景 Artificial lights that once symbolized alienation now guided rescuers through the storm. （曾象征疏離的人造燈光，此刻指引救援者穿越暴風(fēng)雨） 解析：that定語從句構(gòu)建今昔對比，through體現(xiàn)過程 Digital dependence we criticize daily became someone's lifeline in critical moments. （我們每日批判的數(shù)字依賴，成了他人危急時刻的生命線） 解析：we criticize插入語，lifeline比喻突出科技價值 2． 人文關(guān)懷表達(dá) Behind every flashing LED was a human heart beating with concern. （每個閃爍的LED燈背后，都跳動著關(guān)切的人心） 解析：behind空間轉(zhuǎn)換，flashing與beating動詞呼應(yīng) The coldest technology warmed when programmed with compassion. （注入憐憫之心的科技，再冰冷也會變得溫暖） 解析：coldest與warmed對比，when+過去分詞結(jié)構(gòu)簡練 In the end, it wasn't the circuit board but human connection that saved the day. （最終力挽狂瀾的不是電路板，而是人與人的聯(lián)結(jié)） 解析：強(qiáng)調(diào)句型+but轉(zhuǎn)折，點(diǎn)明科技的人文本質(zhì) Algorithms calculate possibilities, but only humans can create miracles. （算法計算可能性，唯有人類能創(chuàng)造奇跡） 解析：but轉(zhuǎn)折，calculate與create動詞對仗 模擬演練 01 閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。 A woman who had a stroke (中風(fēng)) while on a Face Time video call with her sister, said the technology saved her life. Esmee Russell, head of the Stroke Association, said, “A stroke can happen to anyone, at any age, at any time. That’s why it’s so important that people know how to act fast: it could save a life.” Strokes happen when the blood supply to part of the brain is cut off by a clot (凝塊), or damaged by bleeding that causes brain cells in the affected area to die. Opokua Kwapong, who lives alone in New York, was on a call with her sister, Adumea Sapong, in Manchester, when Mrs Sapong noticed that her elder sister “didn’t look right”. And she also noticed her sister’s voice was slurred (口齒不清). Ms Kwapong said she had not realised how serious the situation was. The 58-year-old Kwapong had woken from an afternoon sleep when Mrs Sapong called her on Face Time. Ms Kwapong said “My sister looked at me and said she could see that my face didn’t look right. She also said that I was slurring my words, but I thought she was making a fuss (大驚小怪) and I didn’t believe her.” Mrs Sapong said When I called Kwapong, she said that she'd not been feeling well and had been feeling tired and was also having some difficulty walking. I said, ‘Perhaps you need to take some medicine.’ She tried to pick up a glass of water and wasn’t able to. Then I noticed on the Face Time video call that her face was drooping. I told her she needed to hang up and immediately see a doctor. She thought I was making a fuss so I then called one of my other sisters, who is a doctor, and she could hear her speaking and could also tell that her speech was slurred. We both told her to call for help at once.” 注意： 1． 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右； 2． 請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。 Para. 1: Ms Kuapong hung up the call and then dialed the emergency services. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Para. 2: Ms Kwapong said: “There is no doubt that the internet and technology saved my life. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】Ms Kwapong hung up the call and then dialed the emergency services. The ambulance rushed to her house and nurses sent her to hospital. In hospital, Ms Kwapong was diagnosed with stroke and should stay at hospital for at least one week, Her sister Adumea Sapong looked after her. Her doctor said she was lucky to receive treatment quickly or she could have had much trouble. Ms Kwapong said: “There is no doubt that the Internet and technology saved my life. If my sister had not noticed that something was not right, then things could have been so different. Not only did technology save my life, it now also allows me to live my life. I rely a lot on FaceTime as I’m not able to travel as much as I did previously. You hear a lot of negative stories about the Internet and technology, but I think this is an example of how technology can help us in daily life.” 【解析】 本文以人物為線索，講述了一對老年姐妹在視頻的過程中，妹妹發(fā)現(xiàn)姐姐的臉色不太好，說話也變得口齒不清，便建議姐姐立即聯(lián)系醫(yī)院。憑借著互聯(lián)網(wǎng)和科技的優(yōu)勢，老人被及時送到了醫(yī)院得到救治。 【詳解】 1．段落續(xù)寫： ①由第一段首句內(nèi)容“Kuapong女士掛斷了電話，然后撥打了急救服務(wù)。”可知，第一段可描寫Kuapong女士得到了及時的救治。 ②由第二段首句內(nèi)容“Kwapong女士說：‘毫無疑問，互聯(lián)網(wǎng)和科技救了我的命。’”可知，第二段可描寫Kuapong女士對互聯(lián)網(wǎng)和科技的看法。 2．續(xù)寫線索：聯(lián)系急救服務(wù)——得到救治——感嘆網(wǎng)絡(luò)和科技的幫助 3．詞匯激活 行為類 ①.照料：look after/take care of ②.接受：receive/get ③.注意：notice/note 情緒類 ①.幸運(yùn)的：lucky/fortunate ②.負(fù)面的：negative/minus 【點(diǎn)睛】 [高分句型1]Her doctor said she was lucky to receive treatment quickly or she could have had much trouble.（運(yùn)用了省略連接詞that的賓語從句） [高分句型2]Not only did technology save my life，it now also allows me to live my life.（運(yùn)用了not only位于句首的部分倒裝句式） 02 Back in the early 1980s, the idea of home computers was catching on. I wasn't keen on getting one. Somehow, I evolved and have owned several computers over the years. Some days, I loved my computer, but more often than not, I hated it. I didn't grow up with them, and they were a challenge to my mental health. Dealing with modern technology was my introduction to stress, and I know who to blame: my children. They weren't satisfied that their dad and I finally bought a computer and learned to send e-mails. We were quite happy with that, but next came a cellphone. Then just talking on the phone was not acceptable; they insisted we learn to text as well. We couldn't get a break. I remember well the night that Facebook became a household word around here. Those kids of ours were determined to set up a joint account for us. It took some convincing. We felt no guilt for grating on (激怒) their nerves considering the drama they'd sometimes created for us during their teenage years. A little payback wouldn't hurt those two. More recently, my husband and I were forced into getting rid of our flip phones and getting smartphones. I will admit that I progressed into appreciating mine. I liked speaking to Siri and finding out what I needed to know in an instant. I enjoyed having Internet access everywhere I went. I felt a sense of accomplishment; my husband-not so much. To this day, he would happily take back his flip phone. Last Christmas, our children surprised us with yet another popular form of technology-Alexa. The girls took our smartphones in hand and got us programmed. Before we fully understood what was happening, we could tell Alexa to turn our lamp on or off, and she would. To be honest, we were a bit annoyed at having to learn how to use yet another device, but we decided to keep it. We mastered turning the lamp on and off, and once again I got the hang of it sooner than my husband did. I became his Alexa coach. 注意： 1．續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右； 2．請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。 One night, Alexa did not turn on the lamp when I gave the command. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ We should thank our children and grandchildren. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】One night, Alexa did not turn on the lamp when I gave the command. I tried to say “Turn on the light” to it countless times, but Alexa didn’t work. “New technologies are always unreliable.” my husband complained. I searched the Internet and immediately found the reason why Alex couldn’t work. I just needed to tell Alex to set the light color to white or whatever color I wanted, and then it would turn on the light. Then Alex turned on the light itself. We should thank our children and grandchildren. It was our children and grandchildren that taught us to use technology so that I could find a solution on the Internet by myself. Without them, our life is always invariable and boring. Our children and grandchildren “force” us to accept and use technology, which seems to put us under pressure. However, the fact is that our children and grandchildren let us really accept and use technology to make our life more convenient. 【解析】 本文以人物為線索展開，講述了作者的孩子們?yōu)樽约汉驼煞蛲扑]了許多現(xiàn)代科技產(chǎn)品，作者從很有壓力變得喜歡上它們，有一種成就感，但是作者的丈夫不太喜歡。去年圣誕節(jié)，孩子們給作者的智能手機(jī)安裝了Alexa程序，可以打開或者關(guān)閉燈。 【詳解】 1．段落續(xù)寫： ①由第一段首句內(nèi)容“一天晚上，當(dāng)我發(fā)出命令時，Alexa沒有開燈?！笨芍?，第一段可描寫作者和丈夫?qū)Υ说牟煌磻?yīng)，作者用孩子們教會的技能想到辦法解決問題。 ②由第二段首句內(nèi)容“我們應(yīng)該感謝我們的子孫?！笨芍?，第二段可描寫作者感受到孩子們教會的科技是有用處的，感謝孩子們。 2．續(xù)寫線索：Alexa不工作——丈夫抱怨——作者想辦法——Alexa被修好——感謝孩子們——科技的用處 3．詞匯激活 行為類 ①打開：turn on/switch on ②教：teach/instruct ③找到：find/seek out 情緒類 ①感謝：thank/appreciate ②壓力：pressure/stress 【點(diǎn)睛】 【高分句型1】I searched the Internet and immediately found the reason why Alex couldn’t work.（由關(guān)系副詞why引導(dǎo)限制性定語從句） 【高分句型2】However, the fact is that our children and grandchildren let us really accept and use technology to make our life more convenient.（由連接詞that引導(dǎo)表語從句） 03 Grandma Agnes is ninety-nine years old and still live in the same house a he's lived in for more than sixty years. She was one of thirteen children raised on a farm. And now. she is rather set in her ways, For twelve years, Grandma ages enjoyed the c or up any of her dog, Snoopy. The black and white spotted must was a constant presence in her home and her yard. During the time that she had Snoopy, Grandma Agnes started showing signs of dementia. My family worked together to keep her living independently but safe. It was difficult for my dad the day he pulled the battery from her car to keep her from using her still valid driver's license, Every visit after that day, Grandma Agnes would insist that he buy her a new car battery because hers was dead again. Dad nodded and agreed to do it, knowing that the conversation would soon be forgotten. Three years ago. Snoopy passed away, My dad. Aunt Carol and Uncle Ed thought of ways to ensure that Grandma Agnes would know that Snoopy was gone, They had burial service in the back yard with Grandma. Uncle Ed printed a picture of Snoopy with “Rest in Peace” written across the bottom and stuck it to the refrigerator, But on the daily visits. Grandma Agnes still asked about Snoopy, She accused the neighbors of taking her dog because she was sure that she heard bin barking from their yard. Having a family member with dementia is heartbreaking and trying. For every visit I've made in the past five years, my dad has made a point to tell me that she probably won't remember who I am nor that my kids are her great grandchildren, I've sat through conversations where we patiently repeated answers to questions that were answered a few moment sago. Grandma Agnes is still there. and she's still her stubborn self. but she doesn't grasp the world around her, And yet she insists on living independently and asking about Snoopy constantly. 注意： 1．續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右； 2．請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答． A few months ago, Uncle Ed came up with good idea and bought a robotic dog for Grandma Ages. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Everyone in our family is pleased that Grandma Agnes has been so kind to Snoopy. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 【答案】Para 1: A few months ago, Uncle Ed came up with a good idea and bought a robotic dog for Grandma Agnes. It has soft fur and barks when it senses motion nearby. Grandma quickly adopted the dog as her new Snoopy. Her condition has led her to believe that he is an animal and not a robot. She got used to Snoopy's barks and regarded them as requests for food or a nap. The food disappearing every night helped convince Grandma that Snoopy was a real dog. We found from the camera that the neighbor cat climbed over the fence and ate all the dog food. Para 2: Everyone in our family is pleased that Grandma Agnes has been so kind to Snoopy. She would pet him gently and carefully prepare food and water for him. Once, when the dog didn't move, eat and bark, she anxiously phoned Uncle Ed. She was afraid Snoopy was ill, Uncle Ed found he just needed changing battery. Our family is grateful that the robotic dog has brought Grandma Agnes companionship and someone to love. It's beautiful that her love of dogs can continue through this time in her life. 【解析】 本文以人物為線索展開，講述了艾格尼絲奶奶已經(jīng)99歲了，還住在已經(jīng)住了60多年的那所房子里，奶奶很喜歡她養(yǎng)的狗史努比，但是三年前史努比去世了，于是艾德叔叔給她買了一只高科技機(jī)器狗，奶奶和這只機(jī)器狗相處很愉快。作者的家人很感激這只高科技機(jī)器狗給艾格尼絲奶奶帶來了陪伴和愛。 【詳解】 1．段落續(xù)寫： ①由第一段首句內(nèi)容“幾個月前，艾德叔叔想出了一個好主意，給艾格尼絲奶奶買了一只機(jī)器狗。”可知，第一段可描寫艾格尼絲奶奶和機(jī)器狗的相處經(jīng)過。 ②由第二段首句內(nèi)容“我們家的每個人都很高興艾格尼絲奶奶對史努比這么好?！笨芍?，第二段可描寫艾格尼絲奶奶如何照顧機(jī)器狗以及作者一家對機(jī)器狗的看法。 2．續(xù)寫線索：買機(jī)器狗——奶奶相信機(jī)器狗是真狗——奶奶照顧機(jī)器狗——家人感激機(jī)器狗帶來的陪伴 3．詞匯激活 行為類 提出：come up with/put forward 購買：buy/purchase 習(xí)慣于：get used to / get accustomed to 情緒類 真實(shí)：real /true/actual 高興：pleased /glad 【點(diǎn)睛】 [高分句型1] It has soft fur and barks when it senses motion nearby. (運(yùn)用了when引導(dǎo)時間狀語從句) [高分句型2] Our family is grateful that the robotic dog has brought Grandma Agnes companionship and someone to love. (運(yùn)用了that引導(dǎo)賓語從句)

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