My tw sets f grandparents lived in Clrad and Nrth Dakta， and my parents decided t spend a few weeks driving t thse states and seeing all the sights alng the way. As the first day f ur trip apprached， David， my eight-year-ld brther， and I unwillingly said gd-bye t all f ur friends. Wh knew if we’d ever see them again？ Finally， the mment f ur departure arrived， and we laded suitcases， bks， games， camping equipment， and a tent int the car and bravely drve ff. We bravely drve ff again tw hurs later after wed returned hme t get the purse and travelers checks Mm had frgtten.
David and I were always a little nervus when using gas statin bathrms if Mm was driving while Dad slept： “Yu stand utside the dr and play lkut （放哨） while I g， and I’ll stand utside the dr and play lkut while yu g.” I had terrible pictures in my mind： “Hney， where are the kids？” “What？！ Oh， Gsh… I thught they were being awfully quiet.” We were never actually left behind in a strange city， but we werent abut t take any chances.
On the furth r fifth night， we had truble finding a htel with a vacancy. After driving in vain fr sme time， Mm suddenly gt a great idea： Why didn’t we find a huse with a likely-lking backyard and ask if we culd set up tent there？ David and I became nervus. T ur great relief， Dad turned dwn the idea. Mm never culd understand ur bjectins （反對(duì)）. If a strange family shwed up n her frnt drsteps， Mm wuld have been delighted. She thinks everyne in the wrld is as nice as she is. We finally fund a vacancy in the next twn.
注意：
1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；
2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；
The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brught with us.

We drve thrugh several states and saw lts f great sights alng the way.

寫作指導(dǎo)
文體： 以記敘文體為主。尤其是續(xù)寫的第一段，因所給短文第四段母親的野營提議沒有通過，續(xù)寫第一段又提出帳篷，應(yīng)圍繞帳篷接續(xù)故事，避免輕易議論。續(xù)寫第二段所給開頭語既可視作總起性語言，也可視作總結(jié)性語言，如果視作總結(jié)性語言，則故事已經(jīng)結(jié)束，考生接下去甚至可用整段抒發(fā)感情或發(fā)表議論，如此，則續(xù)寫部分的文體可以是記敘文和說明文（議論文）各占一半。
結(jié)構(gòu) 分兩段，共150詞左右，兩段詞數(shù)最好能基本平衡，一般應(yīng)避免一段過多一段過少的情況。 內(nèi)容 結(jié)合續(xù)寫部分所給段落開頭語來看，真正的故事發(fā)展從第四段開始，前三段只不過都是為了說明母親的健忘。續(xù)寫的部分，應(yīng)著重講述圍繞母親健忘所發(fā)生的趣事。同時(shí)，由于原文多次提到母親“l(fā)ving” “sweet” “nice”的性格特征，在續(xù)寫中最好能將這些性格與健忘結(jié)合起來。另外，續(xù)寫的第二段開放性較大，考生可敘事，可說明，可議論，甚至還可以寫一點(diǎn)本次旅程以外的內(nèi)容，對(duì)于考查學(xué)生的輸出能力是很有利的。
本篇故事有一定的思想性，考生在續(xù)寫部分如將故事做恰當(dāng)?shù)奶釤捄蜕A，應(yīng)該得到鼓勵(lì)。需要特別指出的是，所給短文（含標(biāo)題）中提到了“vacatin” “an interesting childhd” “surprises and amusements” “strange”等，這些內(nèi)容一方面給續(xù)寫提供了一些可用的線索，但另一方面卻容易干擾考生對(duì)故事主線的把握，考生在閱讀所給短文和續(xù)寫的過程中可以不加特別關(guān)注。同理，原文中一些描述和說明，如“... unwillingly said gd-bye t all f ur friends. Wh knew if we’d ever see them again？”“Yu stand utside the dr and play lkut while I g， and I’ll stand utside the dr and play lkut while yu g.” “I had terrible pictures in my mind： ‘Hney， where are the kids？ ‘What？！ Oh， Gsh ... I thught they were being awfully quiet.”等，對(duì)部分考生的理解可能具有較大難度，但其實(shí)這些語句除了說明母親的健忘外，對(duì)故事主線的發(fā)展并沒有制約與貢獻(xiàn)，考生在續(xù)寫時(shí)也可不加特別關(guān)注。
語言 時(shí)態(tài)上，所給短文敘述發(fā)生在過去的一件事情，采用過去時(shí)。續(xù)寫時(shí)，記敘文體部分沿用過去時(shí)，抒情或議論部分則要視情況區(qū)別對(duì)待：如是針對(duì)當(dāng)時(shí)（過去）情況，則用過去時(shí)；如是針對(duì)普遍情況，則用現(xiàn)在時(shí)。短文語言總體較為平實(shí)，沒有過于特別的句式，也沒有大詞生僻詞，但描寫生動(dòng)，還有一些幽默的表達(dá)法（如“My tw sets f grandparents” “We bravely drve ff again ... ”以及加油站里的對(duì)話等）。續(xù)寫時(shí)最好能延續(xù)這種風(fēng)格。當(dāng)然，所給短文的幽默不太容易察知和模擬，但平實(shí)的風(fēng)格應(yīng)該在續(xù)寫中得到體現(xiàn)，在此基礎(chǔ)上，用詞和句式可以有變化，描寫可以盡量生動(dòng)，但不應(yīng)盲目追求所謂的“高大上”，應(yīng)以意義的恰當(dāng)傳達(dá)為準(zhǔn)則，使用干凈、明白、有表現(xiàn)力的語言。描寫中可恰當(dāng)使用一些對(duì)話，但須注意不應(yīng)過多，尤其是不應(yīng)有過多過于簡(jiǎn)單的對(duì)話，否則無法在有限的空間里展示語言運(yùn)用能力。記敘文體部分應(yīng)注重細(xì)節(jié)，多使用描繪性、描述性的語言，不要過多使用說明性的語言。抒情或議論部分可恰當(dāng)使用說明性、總結(jié)性的語言。要恰當(dāng)使用語句連接成分，但需要注意的是，能夠完成語句連接任務(wù)的并不只有連接詞和連接性副詞及詞組，還包括其他許多手段，如代詞（代名詞、代動(dòng)詞）、某些修辭手法（如重復(fù)、平行結(jié)構(gòu)等），甚至句式變換等。續(xù)寫語句的文氣應(yīng)與開頭語相接，所續(xù)寫語句相互之間的文氣也應(yīng)相接，使文章自然流暢，符合語言邏輯。文題所給短文由于人物與事件關(guān)系相對(duì)比較簡(jiǎn)單，兩句開頭語對(duì)接續(xù)語句主位的要求并不十分嚴(yán)格，考生在這一方面基本都能很好地完成任務(wù)。 形式 應(yīng)緊接每段開頭語續(xù)寫，使開頭語與續(xù)寫部分形成一個(gè)完整的段落。如果是在開頭語行下方開始續(xù)寫，實(shí)際上就是另外一段了，不符合試題“續(xù)寫部分分為兩段”的說明（亦即要求）。書寫應(yīng)規(guī)范工整。
習(xí)作點(diǎn)評(píng)
習(xí)作1]
The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brught with us. Thinking f this tent， Mm suggested that we g camping in the next village in excitement， with eyes glittering. Cnsidering her enthusiasm， we all agreed. When the dr f ur car pened， Mm strmed ut instantly and urged us t put up the tent. David and I were asked t pick up sme branches t build a fire. And when we came back， Dad and Mm had already lain n the grass cmfrtably in frnt f the tent， talking merrily with a lcal by at ur age， wh always cast a glimpse at this tent curiusly. Sn we learnt that the by in rags even didn’t have a hme t live. Of curse， Mm “frgt” t take this tent with us again.
We drve thrugh several states and saw lts f great sights alng the way. And we als had a nice time living with my grandparents during that vacatin. But what impressed me mst was that tent， which was frgtten deliberately by Mm. Thugh she did lve ging camping， she presented that pr by with this tent ut f sympathy. It was Mm that made my childhd clrful. And it was als see that shwed me the true meaning f giving.
點(diǎn)評(píng)1
這篇習(xí)作描寫細(xì)致，文氣較為通暢，語言面貌總體相當(dāng)不錯(cuò)，較好地完成了交際任務(wù)。習(xí)作故事情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)合理，與短文融洽度高，人物行為描寫細(xì)膩（如爸爸媽媽躺在草地上的情景），同時(shí)穿插心理描繪（如男孩不?？磶づ竦难凵瘢?，動(dòng)靜結(jié)合，第二段的說明解釋與故事結(jié)合緊密，非常合理。習(xí)作語言富于變化，如語言結(jié)構(gòu)上復(fù)雜句與簡(jiǎn)單句、長(zhǎng)句與短句錯(cuò)雜使用，尤其是兩段結(jié)尾的短句，使文章顯得有力。文章將“frgt”一詞放在引號(hào)中，說明媽媽此次的健忘乃是出于其“l(fā)ving”與“sweet”的美好品格，使續(xù)寫的故事出乎意料之外，又在情理之中，而且提升了故事的主題思想，還給續(xù)寫第二段的情感抒發(fā)做了鋪墊。此外，習(xí)作有較好的修辭意識(shí)，尤其是結(jié)尾兩句用了平行結(jié)構(gòu)，用兩個(gè)分裂句強(qiáng)調(diào)了母親的優(yōu)良品質(zhì)，很好地使文章思想得到了升華，是習(xí)作的閃光之處。習(xí)作在描寫過程中恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂昧艘恍┚哂休^強(qiáng)表現(xiàn)力的細(xì)節(jié)描述性語言，如“Mm strmed ut” “talking merrily” “always cast a glimpse at this tent curiusly”等，使故事非常生動(dòng)。當(dāng)然，習(xí)作中存在的問題也是明顯的。首先，習(xí)作在語法知識(shí)應(yīng)用上尚顯幼稚，如“eyes”前缺失限定詞“her”，“didn’t have a hme t live”后缺失介詞“in”等。其次，詞匯方面，習(xí)作對(duì)一些詞的詞義把握不清，如不清楚“glimpse”與“glance”，“l(fā)iving”與“staying”，“grass”與“l(fā)awn”的區(qū)別；一些詞的詞性與用法掌握不精，如用“had already lain”來表達(dá)“躺在；已經(jīng)躺下”的概念（應(yīng)為“had already lain dwn”或“were already lying”）；等等。但總體而言，這些問題對(duì)意義傳達(dá)影響不大。當(dāng)然，如能將這些問題修正，同時(shí)調(diào)整一些語句（如將“always cast a glimpse”改為“kept glancing”等），則將更加完善。本篇習(xí)作詞匯與語法結(jié)構(gòu)較為豐富，語句間連接成分有效，標(biāo)點(diǎn)準(zhǔn)確。習(xí)作產(chǎn)出188詞（不含開頭語）。
[習(xí)作2]
The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brught with us. The reasn was that we culdn’t find a htel， meaning that ur tent had t be used and Mms dream came true. Unexpectedly， David nticed that Mn disappeared after dinner. Eventually， it was Dad that fund Mm. This absent-minded and frgetful wman explained that she just wanted t seek sme charming flwers but gt lst finally. Hwever， thanks t Mm， we fund a new way with mre beautiful views where she gt lst.
We drve thrugh several states and saw lts f great sights alng the way. All f a sudden， as driving， Mm asked， “Where is ur camping equipment？” In the end， we had t accept the fact that we ught t return t find it left by Mm. In that time， I thught this trip was in a mess because f Mm. But it’s bvius fr me tday that ur trip shuld have been bring withut this lving and sweet lady. There is n persn even a wise lady that can match her， my lving， sweet， yet absent-minded and frgetful mm.
點(diǎn)評(píng)2
這篇習(xí)作產(chǎn)出159詞（不含開頭語），與短文融洽度較高，盡管續(xù)寫部分與段落開頭語的銜接不能稱之為緊密，但總體而言仍然是合理的。故事情節(jié)上，本篇習(xí)作與上篇一樣，有出乎意料卻合乎情理的設(shè)計(jì)，將目光放在母親的粗心所帶來的好結(jié)果上，做了翻案文章，既與所給短文緊密銜接，也使第二段的情感抒發(fā)顯得自然。語言上，習(xí)作意義傳達(dá)基本清楚，對(duì)語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的豐富性、準(zhǔn)確性有較好的注意，文氣總體較為流暢。應(yīng)該說，這篇習(xí)作還是比較順利地完成了交際任務(wù)。尤其值得指出的是，習(xí)作不但注意到了詞匯的豐富性，而且能夠針對(duì)不同的意義與情感表達(dá)需要來變換詞匯（如說母親“absent-minded and frgetful”時(shí)用的是“wman”，說她“l(fā)ving and sweet”時(shí)用了“l(fā)ady”，最后把這兩類品質(zhì)結(jié)合，用了“mm”），這在考生習(xí)作中是不多見的。另外值得稱贊的是，本篇習(xí)作注意了使用不同語法形式來表達(dá)意義（如“it’s bvius fr me tday”中現(xiàn)在時(shí)的使用和“ur trip shuld have been bring”中情態(tài)助動(dòng)詞與完成體的結(jié)合等）。當(dāng)然，與上一篇習(xí)作相比，本篇問題稍稍突出一些，主要表現(xiàn)在以下幾個(gè)方面：一是對(duì)詞句意義與語篇意義的聯(lián)系注意不夠，如第一段的“The reasn was ...”和“meaning ...”、第二段的“All f a sudden， as driving”等，讓讀者感覺不好理解；二是對(duì)語法結(jié)構(gòu)的意義把握不準(zhǔn)，導(dǎo)致意義發(fā)生偏差，如“it was Dad that fund Mm”（或許是不恰當(dāng)追求“高大上”的結(jié)果）；三是低級(jí)語法錯(cuò)誤導(dǎo)致意義不清，如“There is n persn even a wise lady that can match her”；四是有少許不應(yīng)該出現(xiàn)的拼寫方面的錯(cuò)誤，如“Mn”。但是，總體而言，習(xí)作中所出現(xiàn)的問題對(duì)意義傳達(dá)的影響并不突出，長(zhǎng)短相較，應(yīng)該說本篇習(xí)作在本次浙江省高考英語中屬于較好的一篇，可考慮判為第四檔。
[習(xí)作3]
The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brught with us. It seemed that we wuldn’t get any chance t use it. Just when we felt tugh t deal with it， a bagger came int ur sight. Mm sn came up with an idea that we shuld give it t him. But the tent was really new and it csted us a lt. Despite Dad， David and Is bjectin， Mm determined her mind and gave it t the bagger， which means we culdn’t d camping anymre.
We drve thrugh several states and saw lts f great sights alng the way. The trip was wnderful and we really had a nice time in my grandparents’ huse. Time flw s swiftly that we culdn’t ntice it. After we finished ur trip and came back t ur sweet huse， Mm suddenly fund smething while checking the baggage. She whispered： “Where was the tent？” That’s my Mm， a really nice persn but als a frgetful and absent-minded wman.
點(diǎn)評(píng)3
這篇習(xí)作延續(xù)所給短文情節(jié)，圍繞帳篷和母親的健忘續(xù)寫，與所給短文融洽度高，與所提供的開頭語銜接非常緊密，故事設(shè)計(jì)符合邏輯，雖然總體上以說明性語言為主，但也有一定的描述性語言，而且有的還相當(dāng)生動(dòng)，如“She whispered： ‘Where was the tent？”一句，使讀者有如聞其聲之感。但在語言運(yùn)用上，本篇習(xí)作問題較多。語法方面，有時(shí)態(tài)錯(cuò)誤（如“which means” “Where was the tent？”）、動(dòng)詞屈折變化錯(cuò)誤（如“it csted”“Time flw”）、限定詞錯(cuò)誤（如“Dad， David and Is bjectin” “an idea that ...”）、介詞錯(cuò)誤（如“in my grandparents’ huse”）、代詞錯(cuò)誤（如“felt”與“tugh”之間缺失“it”）等。詞匯方面，有些詞由于意義理解不準(zhǔn)確而誤用，如將“ur sweet huse”與“ur sweet hme”混淆；有的則是對(duì)詞匯的搭配和慣用法掌握不到位，如“determined her mind”；有的則可能是受漢語思維的影響，“直譯”為英語后意義不清，如“fund smething”（應(yīng)為“fund smething missing”）；有的則是簡(jiǎn)單的拼寫錯(cuò)誤，如“bagger”。有意思的是，本篇習(xí)作雖然有不少問題，但考生并沒有對(duì)語言做刻意的變化追求，總體上而言相當(dāng)自然，文氣較為通暢，以上這些錯(cuò)誤對(duì)意義的傳達(dá)并不產(chǎn)生大的影響，不至于過分損及交際任務(wù)的完成。本篇習(xí)作共產(chǎn)出139詞（不含開頭語），語句結(jié)構(gòu)與詞匯富于變化，連接手段有效，較好地滿足了任務(wù)的要求，是一篇合格的作文，建議判第三檔的高分。
[習(xí)作4]
The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brught with us. Until then， it hadn’t shwn any advantages yet. David and I felt deeply upset abut the travel. It didn’t seem like camping r travelling but wrrying abut Mm all the time. The decisins she made and the actins she did must be taken gd care f. Hwever， Mm was lighted and was ready t cntinue the trip. She didn’t say any wrds abut the tent， even thugh Dad had mentined it many times. Withut any hesitatin， we cntinued the trip. She drve happily， while David and I sat quietly behind.
We drve thrugh several states and saw lts f great sights alng the way. It had been several times that my brther screamed ut “What a fantastic scenery！” The trip became mre interesting. I began t talk with Mm and Dad. I felt warmth thrugh Mms excited vice. We smiled and laughed alng the way. With the wnderful sights beside us， we all enjyed the trip. That day， I realized that my mm was actually the nicest persn in the wrld. It was her that brught light t ur lives.
點(diǎn)評(píng)4
這篇習(xí)作內(nèi)容上與所給短文關(guān)系密切，與所提供各段落開頭語也有很好的銜接，寫出了較多內(nèi)容，文氣基本連貫，但語言上存在較多錯(cuò)誤。語言上的問題，最為突出的是多數(shù)語句系由中文“直譯”而來卻又并不明白所用詞語的真正含義，如續(xù)寫部分的第一句“Until then， it hadn’t shwn any advantages yet”，須由英文硬譯回漢語才能明白考生所想表達(dá)的意思（“直到那時(shí)，帳篷都還沒有派過用場(chǎng)”——意思表達(dá)不清的主要原因應(yīng)該是“until”一詞的意義與用法沒有掌握）。其他如“It didn’t seem like camping r travelling but wrrying abut Mm all the time” “The decisins she made and the actins she did must be taken gd care f” “I felt warmth thrugh Mms excited vice”都存在同樣的問題。除此以外，習(xí)作某些詞語（如“Withut any hesitatin”）的使用有“生拉硬拽”之嫌，導(dǎo)致語言邏輯不當(dāng)。當(dāng)然，其他習(xí)作中所存在的普通語言問題，也存在于本篇習(xí)作中，如詞匯誤用（如“l(fā)ighted”應(yīng)為“delighted”之誤）、語法錯(cuò)誤（如“What a fantastic scenery”）等，但總體而言，這一類問題較少。本篇習(xí)作產(chǎn)出166詞（不含開頭語），全文內(nèi)容基本連貫，故事設(shè)計(jì)雖然沒有出彩之處，也沒有思想上的升華，但也合情合理，語言上，意義傳達(dá)雖然受到一點(diǎn)影響，但基本完成了交際任務(wù)，可考慮判第三檔中段。
[習(xí)作5]
The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brught with us. David like the tent very much. He like sleeping in the tent. We can sleep in the tent. And we can nt fund the place t sleep. But mm still said it is a truble. she always wanted t find a vacancy t sleep. But I thinked. the tent is great. I culd see stars and the mn when I sleep in the tent. And I can lk arund the natin.
We drve thrugh several states and saw lts f great sights alng the way. I like the trip very much. I culd see a funny mm and a funny dad They always didn’t agree anther. And I als saw many beatiful views. I like this views. Than we visited ur grand Parents. They were healthy. And they can play games with us. We lived at grand parents huse sme days. Then we baced ur hme. I lived the vacatin with my mther.
點(diǎn)評(píng)5
這篇習(xí)作與所給短文融洽度較高，與所提供各段落開頭語也有很好的銜接，寫出了較多內(nèi)容，文氣基本連貫。情節(jié)內(nèi)容方面，習(xí)作思想較為簡(jiǎn)單，平鋪直敘，有點(diǎn)“流水賬”的感覺，但除了如“They always didn’t agree anther”這樣個(gè)別有點(diǎn)感覺突兀的地方外，總體上應(yīng)該說還是合理的。語言上，本篇習(xí)作問題較多。首先，語句面貌顯得簡(jiǎn)陋，除了兩三個(gè)句子外，所有語句都是簡(jiǎn)單句。其次，語法錯(cuò)誤較多，如時(shí)、體、態(tài)方面的錯(cuò)誤（“l(fā)ike”“can”“can nt fund”“is”等），詞的屈折變化形式錯(cuò)誤（“thinked”），介詞錯(cuò)誤（“she always wanted t find a vacancy t sleep”）等。再次，詞匯錯(cuò)誤比較突出，如大小寫錯(cuò)誤（“mm”“grand Parents”“she always wanted”）、拼寫錯(cuò)誤（“Than” “baced” “grand Parents”）、詞義錯(cuò)誤（“l(fā)ived” “vacancy”）、記憶錯(cuò)誤（“natin”應(yīng)為“nature”之誤）、用法錯(cuò)誤（“agree anther”）等。此外還有標(biāo)點(diǎn)錯(cuò)誤（如“I culd see a funny mm and a funny dad”后缺句號(hào)）。這些問題中有不少（如“l(fā)k arund the natin” “we baced ur hme”）導(dǎo)致了意義的傳達(dá)受到較為嚴(yán)重的影響。本篇習(xí)作共產(chǎn)出139詞（不含開頭語），內(nèi)容邏輯合理，語言上多數(shù)情況下意義傳達(dá)基本順利，但問題較多，可考慮判為第二檔。
[習(xí)作6]
The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brught with us.
I and David were very shcked. I and David gt t the tent fast， we nly can cried and save help， At that time， my mm g back， she help we g ut in the truble.
We drve thrugh several states and saw lts f great sights alng the way.
Thugh a few days， we get the Clrad and Nrth Dakta， we was very excising.
At night， I and David had a dinner with my tw sets f grandparents and g back with mm. I mind that， nbdy as nice as my mm
點(diǎn)評(píng)6
應(yīng)該說，這篇習(xí)作與所給短文關(guān)系較為密切，與所提供各段落開頭語也有較好的銜接，情節(jié)內(nèi)容大體上符合所給短文的限定情景，基本合理。但習(xí)作總體面貌簡(jiǎn)陋，考生共產(chǎn)出79詞（不含開頭語），第一段5句，第二段4句，而且語句過于簡(jiǎn)單，語法與詞匯錯(cuò)誤很多，比較明顯的語法錯(cuò)誤有時(shí)態(tài)錯(cuò)誤、代詞名詞詞序錯(cuò)誤、主謂一致錯(cuò)誤、標(biāo)點(diǎn)錯(cuò)誤、大小寫錯(cuò)誤等，詞匯方面，比較明顯的錯(cuò)誤有搭配錯(cuò)誤、拼寫錯(cuò)誤等，這些錯(cuò)誤有的嚴(yán)重影響了意義的傳達(dá)（如“we nly can cried and save help”“she help we g ut in the truble”“I mind that”），使讀者很難明白考生所想表達(dá)的意思。另外，本篇習(xí)作續(xù)寫部分由于沒有緊接開頭語寫作，最后形成的實(shí)際上不是兩段，而是五段，不符合試題要求?？傮w來看，本篇習(xí)作雖然與所提供短文和開頭語有較好的銜接，語句間也有一定的連接成分，但產(chǎn)出內(nèi)容太少，語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯項(xiàng)目都很有限，語言面貌不佳，全文內(nèi)容也不夠連貫，交際任務(wù)完成情況差，建議判為第一檔。

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