
(2021年浙江卷6月)
My dad, Gerge, nly had an eighth grade educatin. A quiet man, he didn't understand my wrld f schl activities. Frm age 14, he wrked. And his dad, Albert, tk the mney my dad earned and used it t pay family expenses.
I didn't really understand his wrld either: He was a livestck trucker, and I thught that I wuld surpass(超過)anything he had accmplished by the time I walked acrss the stage at high schl graduatin.
Summers in the mid-70s were spent at hme shting baskets, hitting a baseball, r thrwing a ftball. , preparing fr my future as a quarterback n a ftball team. In pr weather, I read abut sprts r practiced my trmbne(長號).
The summer befre my eighth grade I was ne f a grup f bys that a neighbring farmer hired t wrk in his field. He explained ur basic task, the tractr fired up and we were ff, riding dwn the field lking fr weeds t spray with chemicals. After a shrt way, the farmer stpped and pinted at a weed which we missed. Then we began again. This happened ver and ver, but we sn learned t identify different grasses like cckleburs, lamb's-quarters, fxtails, and the king f weeds, the pretty purple thistle. It was tiring wrk, but I lked frward t the pay, even thugh I wasn't sure hw much it wuld amunt t.
At hme, my dad said, "A jb's a big step t grwing up. I'm glad yu will be cntributing t the husehld." My dad's wrds made me realize that my earnings might nt be mine t d with as I wished.
My labrs lasted abut tw weeks, and the farmer said there might be mre wrk, but I wasn't interested. I decided it was nt fair that I had t cntribute my mney.
Paragraph1:When I brught my paycheck hme--it was $ 119--my dad wanted t talk t me. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph2:I was surprised that my dad allwed me t use the mney as I wished. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
真題解析
2.1 整體把握
2.2逐句寫作
第一段:
知道他會談論我的收入,我拉長了臉,打算從他身邊走過,溜回我的臥室。
Knwing that he wuld talk abut my earnings, I pulled a lng face and intended t simply walk past him and slip back t my bedrm.
“過來,孩子。”爸爸帶著一種平易近人的表情喊道。
“Cme here, sn.” Dad exclaimed, wearing an accessible expressin.
我的心沉了下去。我一直期待的是——一套夢幻般的新足球裝備最終會變成家庭開支。
My heart sank. What I had been lking frward t—a dreamy new ftball utfit wuld finally give way t family expenses.
我很不情愿地向前挪了挪,提交了工資。
Reluctantly, I inched frward and submitted the paycheck.
然而,爸爸把薪水塞回到我手里,溫柔地說:“你長大了。你完全有權決定如何處理這筆錢?!?br>Hwever, Dad slid the paycheck back int my hand, saying in a tender vice, “Yu've grwn up. Yu have every right t decide what t d with the mney.”
第二段:
我先前的絕望立即被巨額薪水抹去。
My previus desperatin was immediately erased by great bills.
我走近他,緊緊地擁抱了他。就在那一刻,我注意到他灰白的頭發(fā)和僵硬的脖子。
I stepped clser and hugged him tightly. Just at that mment I nticed his grey hair and stiff neck.
他平時脖子疼的叫喊聲音的回憶涌上心頭。
Memries f his usual cry f pain n the neck came crwding in.
我意識到他作為一名卡車司機的辛苦工作為這個家庭做出了多么大的貢獻。
I realized hw much he had cntributed t the family thrugh his tiring wrk f being a trucker.
淚水模糊了我的視線,“爸爸,謝謝你這些年來的辛勤工作。我不應該這么自私,不愿意貢獻我的薪水?!?br>Tears began t blur my visin, “Dad, thanks fr yur hard wrk these years. I shuldn’t have been s selfish and nt willing t cntribute my mney.”
那天,我開始了解爸爸的世界,他似乎也在進入我的世界的路上。
On that day, I began t understand Dad’s wrld and it seemed that he was als n the way int my wrld.
2.3 范文賞析
When I brught my paycheck hme--it was$119--my dad wanted t talk t me. Knwing that he wuld talk abut my earnings, I pulled a lng face and intended t simply walk past him and slip back t my bedrm. “Cme here, sn.” Dad exclaimed, wearing an accessible expressin. My heart sank. What I had been lking frward t—a dreamy new ftball utfit wuld finally give way t family expenses. Reluctantly, I inched frward and submitted the paycheck. Hwever, Dad slid the paycheck back int my hand, saying in a tender vice, “Yu've grwn up. Yu have every right t decide what t d with the mney.”
I was surprised that my dad allwed me t use the mney as I wished. My previus desperatin was immediately erased by great bills. I stepped clser and hugged him tightly. Just at that mment I nticed his grey hair and stiff neck. Memries f his usual cry f pain n the neck came crwding in. I realized hw much he had cntributed t the family thrugh his tiring wrk f being a trucker. Tears began t blur my visin, “Dad, thanks fr yur hard wrk these years. I shuldn’t have been s selfish and nt willing t cntribute my mney.” On that day, I began t understand Dad’s wrld and it seemed that he was als n the way int my wrld.
素材積累
3.1 情緒類素材積累
消極情緒
不高興 unhappy/ displeased /upset 心沉下去 heart sink
絕望 desperate / fall int despair 不情愿的 unwilling/reluctant
3.2 動作類素材積累
向前挪動 inch frward 引起某人的不快 aruse ne’s displeasure
皺眉 a frwn stand n ne’s face 眉頭緊鎖 eyebrws knt tgether
擦眼淚 wipe away the tears 忍不住哭 can’t hld back tears
臉氣地通紅 flush with anger 氣地說不出話 be speechless with anger
四、模擬演練
練習(一)
閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié),使之構成一個完整的故事。
A man came hme frm wrk late, tired and irritated (不耐煩的), t find his 5-year-ld sn waiting fr him at the dr.
"Daddy, may I ask yu a questin?"
"Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.
"Daddy, hw much d yu make an hur?"
"That's nne f yur business. Why d yu ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.
"I just want t knw. Please tell me. Hw much d yu make an hur?" pleaded the little by.
"If yu must knw, I make $20 an hur."
"Oh," the little by replied, with his head dwn. Lking up, he said, "Daddy, may I please brrw $10?"
The father was angry, "If the nly reasn yu asked is that yu can brrw sme mney t buy a silly ty r sme ther nnsense, then yu march yurself straight t yur rm and g t bed. Think abut why yu are being s selfish (自私的). I wrk hard every day fr such childish behavir." The little by quietly went t his rm and shut the dr. The man sat dwn and started t get even angrier abut the little by's questins. "Hw dare he ask such questins nly t get sme mney?" he thught t himself. After abut an hur r s, the man calmed dwn, and started t think: Maybe there was smething he really needed t buy with that $10 and he really didn't ask fr mney very ften. The man went t the dr f the little by's rm and pened the dr. "Are yu asleep, sn?" he asked.
"N, daddy, I'm awake," replied the by.
"I've been thinking, maybe I was t hard n yu earlier," said the man. "It has been a lng day and I tk ut my anger n yu. Here's the $10 yu asked fr."
The little by sat straight up, smiling. "Oh. Thank yu, daddy!" he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillw he pulled ut sme crumpled (皺巴巴的) bills.
Paragraph 1:
The man, seeing that the by already had mney started t get angry again.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph 2:
Nt knwing what his sn meant, the father just std there, waiting fr his by's explanatin.
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練習(二)
閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié),使之構成一個完整的故事。
I grew up pr-living in the prjects with six brthers, three sisters, my father, and a wnderful mther. We had little mney and few gds, but plenty f lve and attentin. I was happy and energetic. I understd that n matter hw pr a persn was, they culd still affrd a dream.
My dream was athletics. By the time I was sixteen, I culd thrw a ninety-mile-per-hur fastball and hit anything that mved n the baseball field. I was als lucky: My high-schl cach was Jhn, wh nt nly believed in me, but taught me hw t believe in myself. He taught me the difference between having a dream and hw t realize a dream. One particular incident with Cach Jhn changed my life frever.
It was the summer between my junir and senir years, and a friend recmmended me fr a summer jb. This meant a chance fr mney in my pcket-mney fr a new bike and new clthes, and the start f savings fr a huse fr my mther. The prspect f a summer jb was attractive, and I wanted t jump at the pprtunity.
Then I realized I wuld have t give up summer baseball t handle the wrk schedule, and that meant I wuld have t tell Cach Jhn I wuldn’t be playing. I was afraid f this, thinking f the advice my mther tld us: “If yu make yur bed, yu have t lie in it.”
When I tld Cach Jhn, he was as mad as I expected him t be. “Yu have yur whle life t wrk,” he said. Yur playing days are limited. Yu can’t affrd t waste them.”
I std befre him with my head hanging, trying t think f the wrds that wuld explain t him why my dream f buying my mm a huse and having mney in my pcket was wrth facing his disappintment in me.
注意:1. 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為150左右;
2. 請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。
Paragraph 1: “Hw much are yu ging t make at this jb?” he demanded.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2: Then I devted myself t sprts that summer.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________練習(三)
閱讀下面材料,根據(jù)其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段,使之構成一篇完整的短文。
In ur kitchen, there was a wden table and three chairs — ne fr Dad, ne fr Mm, and ne fr me. In the cellar (地窖), the very last jar f apple jam lay quietly n the shelf, waiting t be turned int an apple pie when Dad came back. Mm sat at ne end f the table. I sat in the middle between her and Dad. I tried nt t lk at Dad’s empty place. Dad had gne t the city t lk fr wrk fr a lng time.
Every night, I lay awake in bed and waited fr the train t stp. Waited t hear the creaky (嘎吱作響的) gate Dad’s ging t fix when he came hme. Waited t hear the sund f his wrk bts drpping n the step by the kitchen dr, and his vice calling, “I’m hme!”
Every night, as I lay there, I stared at the windw and the curtains Mm made frm empty flur sacks (麻布袋).
Every night, Mm came t kiss me gd-night — after the train’s gne by. She had been listening, t. “G t sleep. Yur dad will be hme sn. Maybe fr Thanksgiving.”
Time dragging by, it finally came the day befre Thanksgiving. I went t sleep with the sund f train wheels in my head, whispering, “Maybe tmrrw, maybe tmrrw.”
Early the next mrning, the smell f cffee wke me. I ran int the kitchen. There he was! Dad lifted me nt his shulders and pretended t stagger frm my weight. “Hw’s my by? Yu’ve gtten s big that I can barely lift yu up anymre.”
He put me dwn, and I stared at the tw sacks n the table. One said FLOUR — I knew that wrd. I tried reading the ther: S-U-G-A-R. Dad whistled admiringly and winked at me. Mm and I had been practicing my letters mst days. I culd see that Mm was pleased with me. “I’m ging t bake a pie fr yur dad’s hmecming dinner. Jimmy, bring me that jar f apple jam frm the shelf in the cellar.” Mm smiled at me.
注意:
1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為150左右;
2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。
Paragraph 1:Hearing this, I tk the steps tw at a time t the cellar.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2:“Never mind, by, accidents happen,” Dad said and wiped my tears.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
范文賞析
練習(一)
The man, seeing that the by already had mney started t get angry again. "Hw can yu be s selfish? Why d yu want mre mney since yu already have these bills?" the father culd hardly hld his anger back and inquired with tw eyebrws knitted int ne. With held-back tears in his eyes, the little by slwly and carefully cunted ut his mney, and then lked up at his father, replying, "Because I didn't have enugh befre, but nw I d." with big blue eyes shining with tears.
Nt knwing what his sn meant, the father just std there, waiting fr his by's explanatin. Wiping away his tears and an inncent smile appearing n his face, the by requested in a relieved vice, "Daddy, I have $20 nw. Can I buy an hur frm yu? Please cme hme early tmrrw. I want t have dinner with yu." Hearing the by's small but sincere request, the father culdn't hld back his tears. Realizing he was t busy with his business t spare sme time with his belved nes, he gathered his sn int his arms and aplgized again and again, "Srry, and I prmise I'll be back early tmrrw."
練習(二)
“Hw much are yu ging t make at this jb, sn?”He demanded.“3.5 dllars an hur.” I replied.“Well,”he asked, “Is $3.5 an hur the price f a dream?”That questin, the plainness f it, laid bare fr me the difference between wanting smething right nw and having a gal.
Then I devted myself t sprts that summer. Within the year I was drafted by the Pittsburgh Pirates t play rkie-league ball, and ffered a $20,000 cntract. I already had a ftball schlarship t the University f Arizna, which led me t an educatin, tw cnsensus selectins as All-American linebacker and being chsen seventh verall in the first rund f the NFL draft. I signed with the Denver Brncs in 1984 fr $1.7 millin, and bught my mther the huse f my dreams.
練習(三)
Hearing this, I tk the steps tw at a time t the cellar. The next secnd I was in frnt f the shelf. I std n tipte and tk dwn the jar carefully. I culd hear Dad and Mm laughing upstairs and Mm’s hands slapping the dugh. Wanting t jin them, I hurried up the steps, and my ft caught n the middle ne. I put ut my hand t steady myself, but I tumbled dwn. The jar slipped thrugh my fingers and smashed n the flr. The jam we’d been saving and saving flew everywhere. Wrng-fted, I burst int tears and heard Dad’s ftsteps clser and clser.
“Never mind, by, accidents happen,” Dad said and wiped my tears. These wrds seemed t have magic and gradually I settled dwn. Thrugh the shirt, I culd smell the dust f the train and the city as well as that f Dad’s. Hw I wished I hadn’t hurried. “Next time I will be mre careful,” I thught t myself. Having swiftly dealt with the mess, Dad lifted me nt his shulder and went back t Mm. “Nw ut f the kitchen, yu tw,” Mm said, “I'm ging t bake my mama’s sugar pie, withut apple jam!” I fllwed Dad ut and helped him fix that ld creaking gate until Ma called us in fr Thanksgiving dinner.
主題語境
人與自我--生活與學習--個人、家庭、社區(qū)及學校生活
語篇話題
本篇讀后續(xù)寫為記敘文,文章大意為“我”的父親從小就工作賺錢貼補家用,所以當“我”參加工作賺了錢后,“我”爸爸要跟我談一談。
情節(jié)梳理
故事要素
when:the summer befre my eighth grade
where:at hme
wh:my dad and I
what:I was hired t wrk and brught my paycheck hme, my dad wanted me t pay family expenses.
情節(jié)走向
通過第一段首句“When I brught my paycheck hme--it was $ 119--my dad wanted t talk t me.”可預測,續(xù)寫思路為:我不情愿--上交工資--爸爸拒絕--讓我自己處理工資。
通過第二段首句“I was surprised that my dad allwed me t use the mney as I wished.”可預測,續(xù)寫思路為:擁抱爸爸--發(fā)現(xiàn)爸爸的不容易--主動貢獻
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