One weekend in July, Jane and her husband, Tm, had driven three hurs t camp vernight by a lake in the frest. Unfrtunately, n the way an unpleasant subject came up and they started t quarrel. By the time they reached the lake, Jane was s angry that she said t Tm, “I’m ging t find a better spt fr us t camp” and walked away.
With n path t fllw, Jane just walked n fr quite a lng time. After she had climbed t a high place, she turned arund, hping t see the lake. T her surprise, she saw nthing but frest and, far beynd, a snwcapped muntain tp. She suddenly realized that she was lst.
“Tm!” she cried. “Help!”
N reply. If nly she had nt left her mbile phne in that bag with Tm. Jane kept mving, but the farther she walked, the mre cnfused she became. As night was beginning t fall, Jane was s tired that she had t stp fr the night. Lying awake in the dark, Jane wanted very much t be with Tm and her family. She wanted t hld him and tell him hw much she lved him.
Jane rse at the break f day, hungry and thirsty. She culd hear water trickling (滴落) smewhere at a distance. Quickly she fllwed the sund t a stream. T her great jy, she als saw sme berry bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better. Feeling strnger nw, Jane began t walk alng the stream and hpe it wuld lead her t the lake.
As she picked her way carefully alng the stream, Jane heard a helicpter. Is that fr me? Unfrtunately, the trees made it impssible fr peple t see her frm abve. A few minutes later, anther helicpter flew verhead. Jane tk ff her yellw bluse, thinking that she shuld g t an pen area and flag them if they came back again.
But n mre helicpters came and it was dark. _________________________________
It was daybreak when Jane wke up. _________________________________________
Step1 落點(diǎn)：瀏覽所給信息,確定大意主題
Step2 重點(diǎn)：梳理已知段落,確定主要情節(jié)
step3突破點(diǎn)：借助段落開頭,確定續(xù)寫內(nèi)容
Step4 亮點(diǎn)：刻畫細(xì)節(jié)沖突,優(yōu)美連表達(dá)
優(yōu)美連貫表達(dá)
But n mre helicpters came and it was getting dark again.In the dreadful darkness,①____________________________________________________________________
(一切都像準(zhǔn)備好發(fā)動(dòng)攻擊的野獸)[明喻+過去分詞作定語(yǔ)]
②_______________________________(又累又怕)[雙形容詞作狀語(yǔ)]，Jane was rted t spt,unable t utter a wrd.’’
③____________________________________________________
(如果我沒有和湯姆吵架，我現(xiàn)在就不會(huì)被困在這里了)[虛擬語(yǔ)氣]，”She thught f herself
④__________________________________________________(后悔的淚水模糊了她的眼睛)[with 的復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)].
⑤________________________________(被恐懼包圍著)[過去分詞作狀語(yǔ)]，Jane abandned herself t despair and fell asleep.“Tm,is that yu?”
She murmured.“Tm,help!”In her dream,⑥_____________________________________
(她看見一位男士張開雙臂)[現(xiàn)在分詞作賓補(bǔ)]twards her at a distance.
It was daybreak when Jane wke up.⑦_(dá)_________________________(盡管很沮喪)[省略結(jié)構(gòu)]，Jane decided t cntinue frcing her way ahead.Hwever,she fund it hard t find a way ut,⑧____________________________________________(這再次讓她絕望)
[定語(yǔ)從句].Frtunately,a helicpter flew verhead just at that mment.
⑨__________________________________________________(Jane太激動(dòng)了，她立刻沖到巖石邊)[倒裝結(jié)構(gòu)]and climbed nt it eagerly.
⑩______________________________________(眼里閃耀著希望的光芒)[獨(dú)立主格結(jié)構(gòu)]，she waved her yellw bluse madly t the helicpter,(11)_________________________________(大聲呼救)[現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)作伴隨狀語(yǔ)].T her great jy,the helicpter sptted her and came t her help.
(12)______________________________________(當(dāng)團(tuán)聚的時(shí)候)[省略結(jié)構(gòu)]，Jane and her husband hugged each ther tightly in the warmth light f the rising sun.
Step5基本點(diǎn)：做到首尾呼應(yīng),結(jié)構(gòu)完整合理
提升點(diǎn)：為了做到首尾呼應(yīng)，使文章結(jié)構(gòu)更加完整，考生可以在第二段的結(jié)尾回扣文章開頭Jane與丈夫的爭(zhēng)吵和沖突，充分體現(xiàn)本次經(jīng)歷后二人的感受。
優(yōu)秀范文
But n mre helicpters came and it was getting dark again. Immediately, an abslute darkness ruled the frest. Jane, exhausted and scared, lay dwn near a stne, missing her family at a distance. All the fantastic memry crwded in and she culdn't help crying, "Hadn't I quarreled with Tm, walked away and climbed t the high place, I wuldn't be trapped in this awful place, cnfrnted with the danger f dying." She regretted with endless anxiety, and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
It was daybreak when Jane wke up. Weak as she was, she struggled t her feet, cntinuing searching fr assistance. T her great jy, a helicpter was flying verhead again and again. Eager and excited, she flagged her yellw bluse and spared n effrt t yell s as t attract thers'attentin. Frtunately, she was eventually nticed and brught int the helicpter. There, she saw her husband, a man staring at her, wearing an expressin f relief. As tightly as pssible, she hugged him and was t thrilled t say anything. Besides, they agreed never t quarrel again, determining t live the life t the fullest.
【解析】
首先，在邏輯上，要做到了合理合情：起初，主人公身陷森林，內(nèi)心充滿了悔恨，在面對(duì)困難時(shí)焦慮、畏懼；之后，主人公努力求生，最終獲救，并且領(lǐng)悟到了一定的人生道理。縱觀整個(gè)故事，情節(jié)發(fā)展不僅符合兩段給出的開頭所限定的情景要求，而且還設(shè)置了一定的懸念，增強(qiáng)了故事的可讀性。
文章第一句 "an abslute darkness ruled the frest" 中， "rule" 一詞就使用了擬人的修辭手法，讓森林陰森黑暗的一面展露無遺，同時(shí)描繪出主人公身處絕境的緊迫性。在 "Eager and excited, she flagged her yellw bluse…" 一句中，直接將情緒形容詞放在句首，使用了非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞的語(yǔ)法，表達(dá)精練。
此外， "There, she saw her husband, a man staring at her, wearing an expressin f relief." 一句中，使用了幾個(gè)短句，卻包含了兩處非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞語(yǔ)法，同時(shí)活用了 "wear" 一詞，把兩個(gè)人相見時(shí)的場(chǎng)景生動(dòng)地描繪了出來。
【詞匯拓展】
1) 表示并列關(guān)系的過渡詞：and, as well as, r ，Nt nly … but als
2) 表示轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的過渡詞：but, yet, hwever , althugh , thugh …
3) 表示時(shí)間關(guān)系的過渡詞：first, secnd, third, and then, finally, after, befre, after a few days, at last, at that time, later, in the past, immediately, in the meanwhile, when, while, then, after that …
wh
Jane,Tm
what
Jane was lst
where
In a frest
when
One weekend in July
why
A quarrel with Tm,her husband
文章大意
Jane was lst in the frest fr three days and survived in the end
表達(dá)主題
Jane learned hw t cntrl emtins and deal with cnflicts
主要情節(jié)
beginning
…started t quarrel…was lst
develpment
…kept mving…h(huán)ad t stp fr the night…
Rse at the break f day…
Began t walk alng the stream and hpe…
climax(高潮)
heard a helicpter
ending
待定
研讀續(xù)寫段落的開頭語(yǔ)
Para.1
But n mre helicpters came and it was getting dark again.
(切入點(diǎn))Jane是如何熬過這個(gè)夜晚的？
Hw did Jane feel then?
Hw did Jane struggle thrugh the night?
Did she fall asleep and what did she think f?
Para.2
It was daybreak when Jane wke up?
(切入點(diǎn))昨晚Jane 沒有被救，今天會(huì)發(fā)生什么？
Was Jane rescued and wh rescued Jane?
Hw was she rescued and hw did she feel then?
續(xù)寫內(nèi)容
Para.1
Jane是如何熬過那一夜晚的
Para.2
Jane是如何獲救的
刻畫細(xì)節(jié)沖突
添加細(xì)節(jié)
Jane在當(dāng)晚和次日的動(dòng)作，語(yǔ)言，心理描寫以及對(duì)周圍環(huán)境的描寫。
營(yíng)造沖突
擴(kuò)大Jane在夜晚內(nèi)心的沖突(后悔與丈夫吵架)
渲染Jane當(dāng)晚與次日與環(huán)境之間的沖突(當(dāng)晚’’惡劣’’環(huán)境與內(nèi)心無助和恐懼的沖突；次日讓直升機(jī)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的困難與渴望被救的沖突)

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