
如何通過矛盾設(shè)計來寫好作文?
第一,矛盾沖突包括兩種主要形式:一是外部沖突,包括人與人、人與周圍環(huán)境的矛盾;二是內(nèi)部沖突,指的是特定環(huán)境下人物自身的矛盾。
第二,如何設(shè)計矛盾沖突?從大的方向上說,它包括三個方面:人與人、人與周圍環(huán)境、人物內(nèi)心。從內(nèi)容方面來說,這種矛盾沖突,是現(xiàn)實生活里由于人們的立場、觀點、思想感情、理想愿望的不同而產(chǎn)生的矛盾斗爭,是人們的主觀與客觀、正確與錯誤、先進與落后等種種矛盾斗爭的反映。
在構(gòu)思作文時,一般都會想到哪些矛盾沖突呢?
從立意的角度來說,矛盾沖突要指向人們的價值取向。比如生與死、是與非、成與敗、誠與偽、忠與奸、善與惡、榮與辱、得與失、樂與苦、愛與恨、興與衰、小我與大我、主觀與客觀……這是需要我們在寫作之前想清楚的。
例子:下面這篇文章大意:感恩節(jié)到了, 我繼續(xù)和往年一樣, 這一天會開車送禮物如食物給窮人。但是有一年, 我和妻子呆在紐約的旅館里, 不能回家團圓, 我告訴妻子我的往年的做法, 妻子非常開心。但我們需要貨車(van)才能購物。于是我們準(zhǔn)備在街頭上攔一輛車, 妻子同意了。
文章憑什么吸引閱卷者的眼光,拿到高分的?一句話:矛盾設(shè)計精巧。
首先,是人與周圍環(huán)境的矛盾。環(huán)境的惡劣:chilly wind,我們卻在攔車,突出艱難。
(插一句:環(huán)境的描寫,可以力求一個漸變的技巧,譬如在小說I survive里有一句:The wind maned at first. Then it started t hwl, and finally it was shrieking s ludly Dad had t turn up the TV.)
其次,是人與人的矛盾。紐約的街頭,無人同情我們,更無人對我們道一聲辛苦,大家似乎什么也沒有看到。但最后我們還是看到了熱心人,并且和我們一起去幫助他人。
最后,是人的內(nèi)心沖突。從開始的充滿希望到絕望:“Wh can we turn t?” my wife murmured with a fierce frwn…we fund urselves n the verge(邊緣) f giving up到重新充滿期待:The nearly-extinguished(快要熄滅的)sparks f hpe were instantly rekindled(點燃)
最后想說的是:雖然讀后續(xù)寫無非就是簡單的故事講述,但是我們還是可以融入一點人文主義情懷,這就是美學(xué)價值了。我在文章中用到了:Hwever, they came, they saw and they sped up, nly t leave ash and dirt dancing in the air. 和It was the wrst f times, but it was als the best f times. 當(dāng)然這不是必須的,而是看平時的積累和那么一點點文學(xué)靈感的因素。
就為我們平時備考提供了線索。下面我來說說,其中各個沖突并非孤立的,而是相互交織,解決方法也是如此:
解決途徑基本是:
1.encuragement(某人的鼓勵的話)
2.cmfrt(某人的安慰)
3.inspiratin(突然靈機一動)
4.effrt(自己的努力訓(xùn)練)
5.calm(冷靜思考)
6.kindness(某人的善良)
7.curage(勇敢做起來)
8.lve(愛心,不過這個需要和mve,patience結(jié)合,愛只是底子,還需要感化和耐心等待)
9.help(準(zhǔn)確說是及時幫助)
這樣劃分后,我們就比較方便去針對性進行訓(xùn)練。下面且以高考真題為例進行說明:
模擬訓(xùn)練01
讀后續(xù)寫 閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。
Jhn Blanchard std up, straightened his army unifrm(制服), and studied the crwd making their way thrugh the statin. He lked fr the girl whse heart he knew, but whse face he had never seen, the girl with a rse.
His interest in her began thirteen mnths ag in a library. Taking a bk ff the shelf, he fund himself fascinated, nt with the wrds f the bk, but with the ntes penciled in the margin (頁邊的空白). The sft handwriting shwed a thughtful sul and brilliant mind. In the frnt f the bk, he discvered the wner's name, Miss Hllis Maynell. With time and effrt he fund her address. She lived in New Yrk City. He wrte her a letter intrducing himself and inviting her t crrespnd (通信). The next day he was shipped verseas fr military service.
During the next year and ne mnth, the tw begun t knw each ther by mail. Each letter was a seed falling n bth hearts. A rmance was budding. Blanchard asked fr a phtgraph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wuldn't matter what she lked like.
When the day finally came fr him t return frm Eurpe, they scheduled their first meeting — 7 pm at the Grand Central Statin in New Yrk. “Yu'll recgnize me,” she wrte. “By the red rse I'll wear my dress.” S at 7:00 he was in the statin lking fr a girl whse heart he lved, but whse face he'd never seen.
A yung lady was cming tward him. Her figure was lng and slim; her blnde hair lay back frm her ears; her eyes were blue as flwers; her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime cming alive. He went tward her, entirely frgetting t ntice that she was nt wearing a rse. As he mved, a middle aged wman whispered, “Ging my way, Sir?”
注意:1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2.至少使用5個短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語;
3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好;
4.續(xù)寫完成后,請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。
Paragraph 1:
Almst uncntrllably he made his way t the wman, and then he nticed that she was wearing a red rse.
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Paragraph 2:
The wman's face bradened int a big smile.
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翻譯小練習(xí):
約翰·布蘭查德看到這個40多歲的女人很失望。
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2. 沒錯,她就是他等的那個女孩。
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3. 盡管他想跟著那位年輕的女士,他還是停下來,朝那位女士走去,向她打招呼,并拿出他在圖書館里找到的那本書。
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4. “我是約翰·布蘭查德,你一定是霍利斯·梅內(nèi)爾小姐。我非常高興你能見到我,我可以請你吃飯嗎?”
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5. “我不知道這是怎么回事,”她回答說,“但是剛才路過的那個穿著淡綠色西裝的年輕女士求我把紅玫瑰戴在我的外套上。
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6. 她說如果你要請我吃飯,我應(yīng)該告訴你她在街對面的餐廳等你。她說這是個考驗!”
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參考答案:
1.約翰·布蘭查德看到這個40多歲的女人很失望。
Jhn Blanchard was disappinted t see the wman, wh was ver 40 years ld.
2. 沒錯,她就是他等的那個女孩。
Exactly, She was the girl he was waiting fr.
3. 盡管他想跟著那位年輕的女士,他還是停下來,朝那位女士走去,向她打招呼,并拿出他在圖書館里找到的那本書。
Thugh he wuld like t fllw the yung lady, he stpped and walked tward the wman, greeted her and held ut the bk he fund in the library.
4. “我是約翰·布蘭查德,你一定是霍利斯·梅內(nèi)爾小姐。我非常高興你能見到我,我可以請你吃飯嗎?”
“I'm Jhn Blanchard, and yu must be Miss Hllis Maynell. I am mre than glad yu culd meet me; may I take yu t dinner?”
5. “我不知道這是怎么回事,”她回答說,“但是剛才路過的那個穿著淡綠色西裝的年輕女士求我把紅玫瑰戴在我的外套上。
“I dn't knw what this is abut,”she answered, “but the yung lady in her pale green suit wh just went by begged me t wear the red rse n my cat.
6. 她說如果你要請我吃飯,我應(yīng)該告訴你她在街對面的餐廳等你。她說這是個考驗!”
And she said if yu were ging t invite me t dinner, I shuld tell yu that she is waiting fr yu in the restaurant acrss the street. She said it was a test!”
參考范文:
Paragraph 1:
Almst uncntrllably he made his way t the wman, and then he nticed that she was wearing a red rse. Jhn Blanchard was disappinted t see the wman, wh was ver 40 years ld. Exactly, She was the girl he was waiting fr. Thugh he wuld like t fllw the yung lady, he stpped and walked tward the wman, greeted her and held ut the bk he fund in the library. “I'm Jhn Blanchard, and yu must be Miss Hllis Maynell. I am mre than glad yu culd meet me; may I take yu t dinner?”
Paragraph 2:
The wman's face bradened int a big smile. “I dn't knw what this is abut,”she answered, “but the yung lady in her pale green suit wh just went by begged me t wear the red rse n my cat. And she said if yu were ging t invite me t dinner, I shuld tell yu that she is waiting fr yu in the restaurant acrss the street. She said it was a test!”
模擬訓(xùn)練02
讀后續(xù)寫 閱讀下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。
Ali and his yunger sister, Zahra, lived with their parents in a pr neighbrhd. Their mther was very sick and their father was struggling t find a jb, and they had nly a little mney with which t buy fd. As they had nt paid the rent fr several mnths, the landlrd was breathing dwn their necks.
One day, Ali tk Zahra’s shes t a she repairman t be fixed, but he lst them n the way hme. It wasn’t until he gt hme that he realized he had lst the shes. He was afraid that his parents wuld be angry and disappinted, s he begged his sister t keep it secret. Zahra agreed and the tw decided t share Ali’s running shes. Zahra’s schl hurs were in the mrning, s she wuld wear them first. After schl, she wuld rush back and give them t Ali. He culd then run t his schl, which began in the afternn. Althugh he ran as fast as he culd, Ali ften arrived late and was warned by the schl.
Ali heard abut a lng distance race that was held fr the bys in the city. When he learned that the third prize was a new pair f shes, he decided t take part. He ran hme excitedly and prmised his sister that he wuld win her the new shes.
The day f race arrived. Ali had a strng start, but halfway thrugh the race he began t get tired and his legs began t ache. Getting mre and mre exhausted he thught nly f Zahra and his prmise t her. Dreaming f the new shes he wuld win fr his sister gave him strength, and he stayed right behind the tw fastest runners, determined t finish third. Suddenly, as the finish line drew near, anther runner cllided (碰撞) with Ali frm behind and he crashed t the grund.
注意:
1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;
2. 應(yīng)使用5個以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語;
3. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好;
4. 續(xù)寫完成后,請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。
Paragraph 1:
Ali lked up and saw the ther bys rushing ahead. ______________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2:
Filled with delight, Ali walked hme quickly.
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翻譯小練習(xí):
1. 在這一點上他拒絕放棄,他跳起來,盡可能快地跑。
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2. 他沖過終點線,得了四等獎。
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3. 想到他會讓她妹妹失望,阿里忍不住抽泣起來。
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4. 就在這時,他突然聽到廣播里宣布他獲得了三等獎,因為與阿里相撞的賽跑者因違反規(guī)定被取消資格。
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5. 在頒獎典禮上把鞋放在胸前,阿里感到欣喜若狂,如釋重負(fù)因為他最終為妹妹贏得了這雙鞋。
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6. 他迫不及待地想見到他的妹妹并分享這個令人激動的消息。
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7. 到達時,阿里發(fā)現(xiàn)薩拉在外面等著。
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8. 她真的很緊張她哥哥是否給她帶來了她想要的東西。
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9. “薩拉,看看我給你帶來了什么。”他用顫抖的雙手從包里拿出獎品。
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10. 薩拉一看到鞋子,臉上就喜形于色。
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11. 她激動得向阿里撲了過去。 “謝謝你!”當(dāng)兄妹緊緊擁抱在一起時,他們的眼睛里涌出喜悅的淚水。
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參考答案:
1. 在這一點上他拒絕放棄,他跳起來,盡可能快地跑。
Refusing t give up at this pint, he jumped t his feet and ran as fast as he culd.
2. 他沖過終點線,得了四等獎。
He dashed acrss the finish line and wn the furth prize.
3. 想到他會讓她妹妹失望,阿里忍不住抽泣起來。
Thinking he wuld let her sister dwn, Ali culdn’t help sbbing.
4. 就在這時,他突然聽到廣播里宣布他獲得了三等獎,因為與阿里相撞的賽跑者因違反規(guī)定被取消資格。
Just then he suddenly heard the annuncement frm the bradcast that he wn the third prize as the runner wh cllided with Ali was disqualified fr breaking the rule.
5. 在頒獎典禮上把鞋放在胸前,阿里感到欣喜若狂,如釋重負(fù)因為他最終為妹妹贏得了這雙鞋。
Hlding the shes clse t his chest during the award ceremny, Ali felt verjyed and relieved as he eventually wn the shes fr his sister.
6. 他迫不及待地想見到他的妹妹并分享這個令人激動的消息。
He culd nt wait t see his sister and share the thrilling news.
7. 到達時,阿里發(fā)現(xiàn)薩拉在外面等著。
On his arrival, Ali fund Zahra was waiting utside.
8. 她真的很緊張她哥哥是否給她帶來了她想要的東西。
She was really nervus whether her brther had brught her what she was expecting.
9. “薩拉,看看我給你帶來了什么?!彼妙澏兜碾p手從包里拿出獎品。
“Zahra, see what I have gt fr yu.” he tk the prize ut f his bag with his trembling hands.
10. 薩拉一看到鞋子,臉上就喜形于色。
The instant Zahra saw the shes, her face lit up.
11. 她激動得向阿里撲了過去。 “謝謝你!”當(dāng)兄妹緊緊擁抱在一起時,他們的眼睛里涌出喜悅的淚水。
S thrilled was she that she threw herself at Ali. “Thank yu! Ali.” Tears f jy welled up their eyes as the brther and sister hugged tightly tgether.
參考范文:
【參考答案】
1. One pssible versin:
Paragraph 1:
Ali lked up and saw the ther bys rushing ahead. Refusing t give up at this pint, he jumped t his feet and ran as fast as he culd. He dashed acrss the finish line and wn the furth prize. Thinking he wuld let her sister dwn, Ali culdn’t help sbbing. Just then he suddenly heard the annuncement frm the bradcast that he wn the third prize as the runner wh cllided with Ali was disqualified fr breaking the rule. Hlding the shes clse t his chest during the award ceremny, Ali felt verjyed and relieved as he eventually wn the shes fr his sister.
Paragraph 2:
Filled with delight, Ali walked hme quickly. He culd nt wait t see his sister and share the thrilling news. On his arrival, Ali fund Zahra was waiting utside. She was really nervus whether her brther had brught her what she was expecting. “Zahra, see what I have gt fr yu.” he tk the prize ut f his bag with his trembling hands. The instant Zahra saw the shes, her face lit up. S thrilled was she that she threw herself at Ali. “Thank yu! Ali.” Tears f jy welled up their eyes as the brther and sister hugged tightly tgether.Cnflict and Emtin:三沖突
Danger系列
和危險的動物
害怕、緊張:
Scared, nervus
和危險的環(huán)境
和危險的人
Quarrel系列
誤解
失望、傷心、后悔、生氣、困惑、害羞和尷尬:
Disappinted, sad, shy, embarrassed, regret, angry, cnfused
背叛
觀念、性格、興趣不一
傷害(自尊、信任等)
Frustratin系列
第一類:貧困、殘疾、孤獨(pr, disabled, lneliness)等
同情和傷心:
Sympathetic, sad
第二類:失敗、驕傲或自卑(failure, nt cnfident / t prud)等
Slutin and Emtin:四途徑
他人
譬如:善心和愛(lve, kindness),及時援助,安慰和鼓勵,陪伴等
情節(jié)中:
1.鎮(zhèn)定(calm)
2.鼓舞(encuraged)
3.不悅(dissatisfied)
結(jié)尾:
1. 欣慰、歡喜
(relieved, happy)
2. 感動、感恩(mved, grateful)
3. 希望、信心(hpeful, cnfident)
他物
譬如:河流,太陽等
自己
譬如:effrt, inspiratin
自然
突出和諧,時間與成長
卷別
Cnflict
Slutin
2020.7
拍攝北極熊遇險(浙江)
借助他物和他人:用辣椒噴霧器(文章有提示)暫退熊,然后救援隊及時援助
情緒變化:害怕熊到暫時鎮(zhèn)定,到脫險后的歡喜
賣爆米花方法救助窮人(山東)
借助他物和他人:一家決定和被救助孩子賣爆米花,路人紛紛購買
情緒變化:開始的同情到最后的開心與感恩
2020.1
大學(xué)生和寵物狗的離別
借助他物:父母買來小狗,孩子回家后,看到兩只狗彼此陪伴和陪伴父母,明白道理
情緒變化:難過到欣慰
2018.6
父子騎馬迷路
借助他人他物:先父親安慰我,然后我們看到小河后尋路回家
情緒變化:害怕到鎮(zhèn)定,最后到開心
2017.11
家庭旅游為野營爭執(zhí)
借助他物:用自己帶的帳篷來野營露宿
情緒變化:不解困惑到最后開心
2017.6
騎車游玩遇狼脫險
借助他人他物:用辣椒噴霧器(文章有提示)暫退狼,然后路人甲及時援助
情緒變化:害怕到喜出望外,到害怕,最后開心
2016.10
夫婦森林旅游爭執(zhí),女主人迷路
借助他人他物:想起丈夫曾經(jīng)的愛后悔,找到一個地方先睡下,第二天跟著河水來到空地,救援隊及時趕到
情緒變化:害怕 –》后悔—》開心
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