第三講　豐富細(xì)節(jié)內(nèi)容——做到續(xù)寫意蘊(yùn)豐滿
創(chuàng)造性地撰寫出新穎、豐富、合理的內(nèi)容是讀后續(xù)寫最高檔水平的評(píng)分細(xì)則之一，“內(nèi)容的豐富性”要求續(xù)寫部分詳實(shí)、生動(dòng)地描述情景、態(tài)度和感情等，要求情節(jié)有扣人心弦之感。怎樣做到豐富續(xù)寫內(nèi)容，增強(qiáng)續(xù)寫部分的詳實(shí)感、畫面感、空間感和觸動(dòng)人心感呢？我們一起來(lái)體會(huì)以下技巧：
一、豐富細(xì)節(jié)內(nèi)容的5大技法1．遵循敘述與描寫共進(jìn)原則敘述的存在是必須的，能很好地推動(dòng)故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展，但細(xì)節(jié)描寫也是不可或缺的，能使寫作更有畫面感。遵守此原則，同時(shí)必須要有定位意識(shí)：就是在寫作過(guò)程中，抓住文章的主旨，分別根據(jù)兩個(gè)段首句，找到兩個(gè)切入點(diǎn)(如一個(gè)人物，一件物品，一個(gè)地點(diǎn))，從這個(gè)切入點(diǎn)出發(fā)，各自選取一個(gè)場(chǎng)景，有針對(duì)性地直指文章主旨并對(duì)主要人、事、物展開(kāi)描寫。兩個(gè)續(xù)寫段落的兩個(gè)場(chǎng)景應(yīng)該是確定的，在續(xù)寫的過(guò)程中不能隨意添加與原文無(wú)關(guān)的場(chǎng)景。這就如電影中的“慢鏡頭”，給人以足夠的鏡頭感，以期達(dá)到一種視覺(jué)和精神上的共鳴。
2．設(shè)計(jì)有效對(duì)話有些續(xù)寫前文中出現(xiàn)對(duì)話語(yǔ)言，在續(xù)寫過(guò)程中為了與原文語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格保持一致，也需要適當(dāng)寫入對(duì)話，但一定注意對(duì)話的有效性。對(duì)話應(yīng)與人物的身份、職業(yè)、地位、經(jīng)歷相符，與之不相符的對(duì)話即為偏離人物的對(duì)話，對(duì)故事情節(jié)與發(fā)展不起作用，這種對(duì)話為無(wú)效對(duì)話。還有一些對(duì)話看似自然，既符合人物身份，也能推動(dòng)故事情節(jié)發(fā)展，但會(huì)導(dǎo)致情節(jié)的發(fā)展方向偏離主線，這也是無(wú)效對(duì)話。
3．花樣結(jié)尾，適合最美我們常用的續(xù)寫結(jié)尾一般為：哲理式結(jié)尾，以景結(jié)尾，自然結(jié)尾。哲理式結(jié)尾往往總結(jié)出文章的中心思想，并用客觀語(yǔ)言表述，起到升華主題的作用；以景結(jié)尾，就是寓情于景，達(dá)到不言情而情無(wú)限，言有盡而意無(wú)窮的效果；自然結(jié)尾是順著文中所敘述之事的自然發(fā)展，以它的必然結(jié)果做結(jié)尾，沒(méi)有套話，沒(méi)有空話，簡(jiǎn)單自然，可使文章的結(jié)構(gòu)顯得十分完整。自然結(jié)尾法是續(xù)寫故事中最常見(jiàn)的結(jié)尾方式。
4．T Shw, Nt t Tell本句話的意思是“展示而非陳述”。我們都知道，寫作語(yǔ)言最大的魅力就是給讀者展現(xiàn)一個(gè)真實(shí)、生動(dòng)、形象的場(chǎng)景或畫面，讓讀者身臨其境，在這個(gè)自由的空間中去體味、去感受、去想象……，如果寫作時(shí)一味去傳遞一些羅列的信息，語(yǔ)言就會(huì)失去它本身的靈性與情感，讓人感覺(jué)索然無(wú)味。
5．局部造勢(shì)，營(yíng)造高潮故事中的高潮(climax)是指故事達(dá)到最緊張或扣人心弦的那一部分。高潮有時(shí)候是劇情中的“危機(jī)”點(diǎn)，有時(shí)候是故事發(fā)展的轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn)。平鋪直敘的故事敘述往往讓人打不起精神，心生倦意；而頻扔“包袱”、懸念跌出的故事安排，則讓人緊追不舍、欲罷不能。我們可由下圖來(lái)看一下“一波三折”式故事情節(jié)安排的重要性。
二、讓文章起伏有懸念的3大途徑途徑1　增加外部沖突增加外部沖突是一種明顯有效的可以達(dá)到故事高潮的方式。沖突帶來(lái)緊迫感，將故事推向頂點(diǎn)。(1)角色之間的沖突[示例] (2017·浙江11月高考) On the furth r fifth night, we had truble finding a htel with a vacancy. After driving in vain fr sme time, Mm suddenly gt a great idea：Why didn't we find a huse with a likely-lking backyard and ask if we culd set up tent there? David and I became nervus.
[分析]開(kāi)車找旅館——徒勞無(wú)功——母親建議搭帳篷——David和我倍感緊張，心有不悅(母子的觀點(diǎn)不一)
(2)角色與環(huán)境之間的沖突[示例] (2017·浙江6月高考) Then Mac heard quick and lud breathing behind him... he saw instantly that it wasn't a dg at all, but a wlf, quickly catching up with him.Mac's heart jumped..., he fired the spray at the wlf. A bright red clud envelped the animal, and t Mac's relief, it fell back, shaking its head. But a minute later， it..., tearing pen his tent bag. He fired at the wlf a secnd time, and again, it fell back...
[分析]人(角色)——狼(環(huán)境)大戰(zhàn)：Mac騎車獨(dú)行，路遇餓狼，與之搏斗，險(xiǎn)象環(huán)生。
(3)時(shí)間刻不容緩，決策變得緊急[示例] (2017·浙江6月高考) The car abruptly stpped in frnt f him.“Get int the car.”Paul shuted at Mac. Mac jumped ff the bike and slid int the car withut delay as the wlf was just tw steps away and was abut t tear Mac int pieces. What a narrw escape![分析]汽車突然停在面前——Mac緊急上車避險(xiǎn)——餓狼近在咫尺(此情此景，刻不容緩)
(4)增加意外情節(jié)，營(yíng)造困難境地[示例] (2018·浙江6月高考) But befre we jumped ff the hrses, we fund that we had been ff the beaten track and gt lst. We had n idea where we were and it gt dark. Exhausted and hungry，I wndered if we culd find ur way back.[分析]草原迷路(障礙1)——天色漸黑(障礙2)——又累又餓(障礙3)——心理恐慌(障礙4)
途徑2　放大內(nèi)心沖突放大內(nèi)心沖突(文中角色的內(nèi)心斗爭(zhēng))有助于抓住讀者的心，讓讀者感同身受，一步步將讀者帶入其境、融入其中，有助于制造故事波瀾和沖突。[示例](2016·浙江10月高考) Immediately，an abslute darkness ruled the frest. Jane, exhausted and scared, lay dwn near a stne，missing her family at a distance. All the fantastic memry crwded in and she culdn't help crying，“Hadn't I quarrelled with Tm，walked away and climbed t the high place，I wuldn't be trapped in this awful place, cnfrnted with the danger f dying.”She regretted with endless anxiety, and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.
[分析]夜色漸黑——獨(dú)處森林——陰森恐怖——后悔莫及(內(nèi)心沖突的刻畫)，內(nèi)心獨(dú)白(往昔對(duì)比＋虛擬語(yǔ)氣使用＋旁白描寫)
途徑3　使用環(huán)境描寫增加不確定性充分利用環(huán)境描寫可以起到烘托故事高潮的作用。當(dāng)故事角色在碰到困難的時(shí)候，我們往往要加大筆墨來(lái)描寫故事環(huán)境，以此襯托故事發(fā)展。強(qiáng)化環(huán)境描寫增強(qiáng)了高潮元素。[示例]Immediately, an abslute darkness ruled the frest. Even wrse, the temperature suddenly drpped dramatically.[分析]森林漆黑——?dú)鉁叵陆怠媾R困境[特別提示]語(yǔ)言的積累是語(yǔ)言輸出的基礎(chǔ)。要提高寫作水平，必須有大量的語(yǔ)言積累。
[應(yīng)用體驗(yàn)]Ⅰ.完成句子并體會(huì)語(yǔ)段局部造勢(shì)的方法1．A little girl has been searching fr her lst dg.__________________ ______________________________________ (突然，她聽(tīng)到從角落傳來(lái)狗叫的聲音), and she lks arund t ．Kevin has wrked very hard t try ut fr the sccer team at schl. ______________________________________________________________ (教練在辦公室門口貼上了今年的球隊(duì)成員的名單). Kevin walks frward t lk at the list...
All f a sudden, she
hears a bark cming frm arund the crner
The cach has psted a list f this year's team members n his ffice dr
3．Mary's parents have been discussing whether r nt t mve t anther state.____________________________________________________ ______________(他們把 Mary 和姐姐叫來(lái)討論關(guān)于他們的決定)……4. Lis has perfrmed in the state gymnastics finals._____________________________________________ (她焦急地等待聽(tīng)到獲勝者的名字)．The annuncer says，“_______________________ (第一名是Jhn)．”
They call Mary and her sister dwn t talk with them abut their decisin
She waits anxiusly t hear the names f the winners
And first place ges t Jhn
Ⅱ.閱讀下面短文，結(jié)合考生的續(xù)寫，升格作文A funny thing happened t Arthur when he was n the way t wrk ne day. As he walked alng Park Avenue near the First Natinal Bank, he heard the sund f smene trying t start a car. He tried again and again but culdn't get the car mving. Arthur turned and lked inside at the face f a yung man wh lked wrried. Arthur stpped，“It lks like yu’ve gt a prblem，”Arthur said.“I'm afraid s.I'm in a big hurry and I can't start my car.”
“Is there smething I can d t help？”Arthur asked. The yung man lked at the tw suitcases in the back seat and then said.“Thanks. If yu're sure it wuldn't be t much truble, yu culd help me get these suitcases int a taxi.”“N truble at all.I'd be glad t help.”The yung man gt ut and tk ne f the suitcases frm the back seat. After placing it n the grund, he turned t get the ther ne. Just as Arthur picked up the first suitcase and started walking, he heard the lng lud nise f an alarm.
It was frm the bank. There had been a rbbery!Park Avenue had been quiet a mment befre. Nw the air was filled with the sund f the alarm and the shuts f peple running frm all directins. Cars stpped and the passengers jined the crwd in frnt f the bank. Peple asked each ther，“What happened？”But everyne had a different answer.Arthur, still carrying the suirtcase, turned t lk at the bank and walked right int the yung wman in frnt f him.
She lked at the suitcase and then at him. Arthur was surprised.“Why is she lking at me like that？”He thught.“The suitcase! She thinks I'm the bank thief！”Arthur lked arund at the crwd f peple. He became frightened, and withut anther thught, he started t run.注意：1.續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2．請(qǐng)按如下格式作答。
[考生習(xí)作]Paragraph 1：As he was running, Arthur heard the yung man shuting behind，“Stp, stp！”Arthur turned a deaf ear t the shuts. He stpped a taxi. The taxi raced t the plice statin, leaving the yung man behind.Paragraph 2：The taxi stpped in frnt f the plice statin and Arthur gt ut f the taxi. In the statin he reprted what had happened and handed the suitcase ver. Then the yung man arrived t explain. They pened the case and fund n mney inside. Everyne laughed.
[升格作文]根據(jù)所給漢語(yǔ)提示完成續(xù)寫內(nèi)容Paragraph 1：As he was running, Arthur heard the yung man shuting behind，“Stp, stp！”①____________________________________________________ (意識(shí)到這個(gè)年輕人可能是銀行劫匪), Arthur turned a deaf ear t the shuts ②____________________________(跑得更快了). He stpped a taxi，③
Realizing that the yung man might be the bank rbber
and ran even faster
______________________________ (拿著箱子跳上車)④______________ _____________________________________________________________________________ (對(duì)司機(jī)說(shuō)：“請(qǐng)去警察局。加速，把那個(gè)年輕人甩在后面！”) Immediately the taxi raced away like the wind, leaving the yung man far behind.
jumped in with the suitcase
and said t the
driver，“G t the plice statin, please. Speed up and thrw the yung man behind！”

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