Learning aims: T learn abut the wrk f an ORBIS vlunteer called Diana; T write a reprt abut an Indian girl helped by UNICEF; T learn the five steps f writing (prewrite—write—revise—edit—publish).
Describe the pictures in yur wn wrds.
in the past
a secretary f a cmpany
an ORBIS nurse
Diana was a secretary f a cmpany.
She was afraid f flying.
She saw a TV prgramme abut ORBIS.
Discuss the pictures.
What was her life like?
Which des Diana like better, travelling by car r by plane?
In which way did she learn abut ORBIS?
She trained as a nurse.
She wrks fr ORBIS.
She enjys her wrk.
After learning abut it, hw did she think and what did she d?
What is her life like nw?
Hw des she feel abut the changes?
Read and answer
Tpic sentence f each para
life in the past
life at present
Cmpare the lives in the past and at present
way f travelling
similar structure
Share yur writing
Write step-by-step
Chse a tpic
Cllect details
Write a first draft：
a beginning + a middle + an ending
Imprve yur writing
Check fr errrs
Write a final cpy
Hw t write?
Chse a tpic/Cllect details
the wrk f UNICEF
a reprt fr class presentatin
t share a true experience
the classmates
An experience includes (1) the basic details f what happened; (2) sensry (感官) details abut what peple saw, felt and heard; and (3) dialgues t shw what peple said.
Tpic: a reprt n the wrk f UNICEF
Cmplete a 5 W’s chart
Mandeep and a UNICEF fficer
Help Mandeep enter a schl
One day ...
UNICEF wants t help the lcal children.
Put things in rder
She used t wrk n the farm.
He came and learnt abut the cnditins f the lcal peple.
She entered a schl.
She hpes t becme a teacher.
She can read and write.
She culdn’t read r write.
Organizatin
Fr an experience, yu shuld arrange the details in time rder, the rder in which they happened. Create yur timeline.
Write a first draft
Opening sentences
● In the past, she ...
● One day, ...
● Nw, she ...
Clsing sentences
The ending tells hw she felt.
The middle gives details abut what happened.
The beginning catches the readers’ attentin.
She hpes t becme a teacher...
Mandeep ...
In yur first paragraph, yu shuld get the readers’ attentin and intrduce the experience. Here are three ways t begin yur paragraph.
▉ Start with dialgues.
▉ Begin with a fact r an interesting statement.
▉Intrduce a specific example.
“I always dreamed f ging t schl while wrking n the farm,” Mandeep said. “Nw it finally cmes true.”
When Mandeep was tld that she can g t schl instead f wrking n the farm, she culdn’t believe her ears.
UNICEF has helped thusands f pr children g back t schl and greatly imprved their lives.
Write tw r three beginnings fr yur first paragraph and chse the best ne!
The middle part tells the stry. It shuld be rganized in time rder. Here are sme ther things t keep in mind.
▉ Include sensry details.
▉ Use qutatins and dialgues.
▉ Share the feelings peple experienced.
Befre yu start, review yur details t make sure yu dn’t frget anything.
Mandeep is a girl frm India. She used t wrk n the farm all day. Her family had many children. She was very pr. She culd nt read r write.One day, a UNICEF ffficer came t Mandeep’s village and learnt abut the cnditins f the lcal peple. He wanted all the children in the village t learn t read.Three weeks later, Mandeep entered a schl. Nw she can read and write. She ges t schl every day. She enjys schl and is grateful t UNICEF.
Transitin wrds help put the stry in time rder.
Sensry details help the reader “see” and “feel” the experience.
Dn’t wrry abut the mistakes!
The final paragraph shuld bring yur stry t a clse. Here are three pssible ways t end yur stry.
▉ Tell what yu learnt frm the experience.
▉ Explain hw the experience changed yu.
▉ Tell hw yu felt abut the experience.
Mandeep enjys her schl and is very grateful t UNICEF fr helping her.
UNICEF ttally changed Mandeep’s life. Nw she usually reads fr her families. She says that she hpes t becme a teacher and help mre pr children in the future.
“It’s great t help thers,” Mandeep says. “I’ll try my best t study, s that maybe in the future I will be able t help thers t. ”
Use ne f these ways t end yur stry and if yu dn’t like it, try anther ne.
Write yur wn article.
1. Read yur reprt again t see hw yu feel abut it.
2. Review each part carefully—the beginning, the middle and the ending.
3. Ask a classmate t read yur first draft.
4. Change any part that needs t be imprved.
“I always dreamed f ging t schl while wrking n the farm.” Mandeep said, “Nw it finally cmes true.” Mandeep is a girl frm India. She used t wrk n the farm all day. Her family had many children. She was very pr. She culd nt read r write. One day, a UNICEF ffficer came t Mandeep’s village and learnt abut the cnditins f the lcal peple. He wanted all the children in the village t learn t read. Three weeks later, Mandeep entered a schl. Nw she can read and write. She ges t schl every day. She enjys schl and is grateful t UNICEF. UNICEF ttally changed Mandeep’s life. Nw she usually reads fr her families. She says that she hpes t becme a teacher and help mre pr children in the future.
She really wanted t change but she didn’t knw hw.
—Add and mve parts
He said it was imprtant fr children t receive educatin.
mre details.
t the right rder.
—Rewrite parts
Try t make these sentences better.
1. Her family had many children. She was very pr. She culd nt read r write.
Her family had many children and was very pr, s she did nt g t schl and culd nt read r write.
(many shrt sentences)
(a lng sentence)
Transitin wrds help cnnect events.
First, then, next
Befre, after, finally
Nw, then, sn
As sn as, at last, in the end...
2. Three weeks later, Mandeep entered a schl.
3. She really wanted t change but she didn’t knw hw.
--Rewrite parts
Three weeks later, Mandeep entered a lcal primary schl.
She really wanted t change but what culd she d?
Use specific nuns, vivid verbs, clurful adjectives
Add variety t sentences
PunctuatinCapitalizatinGrammar errr Spelling
“I always dreamed f ging t schl while wrking n the farm. Mandeep said. Nw it finally cmes true.” Mandeep is a girl frm India. She used t wrk n the farm all day. Her family had many children and was very pr, s she did nt g t schl and culd nt read r write.She really wanted t change but what culd she d? One day, a unicef ffficer came t Mandeep’s village and learnt abut the cnditins f the lcal peple. He said it is imprtant fr children t receive educatin.He wanted all the children in the village t learn t read. Three weeks later, Mandeep entered a lcal primary schl. Nw she ges t schl every day and she can read and write. She enjys schl and is greatful t UNICEF. UNICEF ttally changed Mandeep’s life. Nw she usually reads fr her families. She says that she hpes t becme a teacher and help mre pr children in the future.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“I always dreamed f ging t schl while wrking n the farm.” Mandeep said. “Nw it finally cmes true.” Mandeep is a girl frm India. She used t wrk n the farm all day. Her family had many children and was very pr, s she did nt g t schl and culd nt read r write. She really wanted t change but what culd she d? One day, a UNICEF ffficer came t Mandeep’s village and learnt abut the cnditins f the lcal peple. He said it was imprtant fr children t receive educatin. He wanted all the children in the village t learn t read. Three weeks later, Mandeep entered a lcal primary schl. Nw she ges t schl every day and she can read and write. She enjys schl and is grateful t UNICEF. UNICEF ttally changed Mandeep’s life. Nw she usually reads fr her families. She says that she hpes t becme a teacher and help mre pr children in the future.
Indent every paragraph and leave a ne-inch margin n all sides.
Did I fcus n ne event? D I include enugh details?
Have I chsen the specific nuns, vivid verbs and clurful adjectives?
Did I have an interesting beginning that catches the readers' attentin, a middle rganized in time rder, and an effective ending?
D my sentences read smthly?
Did I fllw the rules fr capitalizatin, punctuatin, spelling and grammar?
Assessing the final cpy
Did I sund like the persn wh’s telling the stry?
2. The part that still needs wrk is:
____________________________________________________________
Reflecting n yur writing
3. The main thing I learnt abut writing a stry is:
4. The next time I write a stry, I wuld like t:
1. The best part f my stry is:
Writing helps yu …
Cnnect with thers.
Enjy life …
Becme a better student.
Understand yur experiences.
1. Make yur article better.2. Put the best articles nt the wall and enjy tgether.

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