專題 02
如何巧妙構(gòu)思讀后續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié)
之高分技巧、高分手段和易錯點
故事構(gòu)思
讀后續(xù)寫能否拿否拿高分某種程度上取決于故事情節(jié)的構(gòu)思。這就要求考生做到學(xué)會分析情節(jié)。分析故事情節(jié)一般從故事六要素著手，即wh, when, where, what, why, hw。然后根據(jù)故事情節(jié)發(fā)展線和主人公的情感變化來續(xù)寫文章。簡化為：
第一步：分析段首句。根據(jù)其關(guān)鍵信息，提出問題，預(yù)設(shè)故事情節(jié)發(fā)展走向。
第二步：關(guān)注段首句和續(xù)寫部分的銜接。思考續(xù)寫第一段和第二段的銜接。根據(jù)情節(jié)發(fā)展構(gòu)思末句，通過收尾呼應(yīng)，達到文章升華，體現(xiàn)故事主題。
高分技巧
高分手段
讀后續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié)設(shè)計中，矛盾沖突和轉(zhuǎn)折總體上應(yīng)當體現(xiàn)清代袁枚《隨園詩話》中“文似看山不喜平”的意思，即寫文章好比觀賞山峰那樣，喜歡起伏，不喜歡平鋪直敘。所以讀后續(xù)寫的沖突就體現(xiàn)了這種跌宕起伏，而最終的矛盾沖突會變?yōu)榉e極的正能量。
易錯點


在續(xù)寫過程中，應(yīng)當體會原材料故事中的語言特點，從人物動作描寫，場景描寫，情感情緒描寫，人物心理和神態(tài)外貌描寫等方面進行潤色，提升語言表達的準確性，完成語言風(fēng)格高契合度的短文。
典例剖析
【2022年高考浙江卷6 月】
閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。
I needed t d smething in my cmmunity (社區(qū)) in rder t cmplete the cmmunity service hurs required t graduate frm high schl. Sme f my friends had signed up t spend time at a sup kitchen, s I did, t. It seemed like a gd thing t d.
I thught that we wuld just be passing ut dinners t thse in need, but I fund ut we wuld be ding everything frm preparing t serving the dinner. We began preparing the fd, frm mixing salad dressing t separating frzen meat. Much still needed t be dne befre dinner was served, but already utside the building many hmeless peple were gathering. It wasn’t until a cuple f hurs later that we pened the drs and began serving dinner.
As the line f peple came tward me, I gt a little scared. I’d cme face t face with the hmeless: Hw shuld I act? Hw wuld they treat me? Wuld they hate me fr having mre than they did? While sme f the peple lked very friendly, sme f them lked s dangerus. I didn’t have t much time t wrry abut it. I was assigned (分配) t serve the salad with the lady next t me. She smiled at me and said if I needed help, she’d be right there, which I fund quite cmfrting.
I had never seen s many peple wanting fd. They were f all ages and natinalities. Mst f them wre clthes that were trn and dirty. Sme lked like they had tally given up n life, while thers seemed t be making the best f the situatin, smiling and jking. Sme were better ff than thers, but they all needed a gd meal and a warm place t eat. It saddened me t think f hw many peple there were wh didn’t have a place t call hme and the nly fd they gt came frm a sup kitchen.
注意：
1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；
2. 至少使用5個短文中標有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；
3. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；
4. 續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。
Paragraph 1:
As they came in my directin, I put n my brightest and happiest smile. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2:
I was s happy that I had earned my service hurs in this way.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
第一步： 故事情節(jié)構(gòu)思：
Wh: hmeless peple and me
Where: at a sup kitchen
When: when they began preparing the fd fr cmpleting the cmmunity service
Why: Think f hw many peple there were wh didn’t have a place t call hme and the nly fd they gt came frm a sup kitchen
What: many hmeless peple were gathering befre the shp pened
故事梗概：本文以人物為線索展開，講述了作者為了完成高中畢業(yè)所需的社區(qū)服務(wù)時間，需要在所在的社區(qū)做點什么，作者去了施粥所，作者發(fā)現(xiàn)準備過程中要做的事情很多，作者看到無家可歸的人靠近時心里有點害怕，但是卻忙得沒有時間去擔心這些，作者看到了年齡和國籍各不相同的人，這讓作者感到很難過。
情節(jié)構(gòu)思：無家可歸的人笑——作者舀粥——無家可歸的人感激——作者感悟——作者發(fā)出呼吁
第二步：第一段和第二段首句的銜接
由第一段首句內(nèi)容“As they came in my directin, I put n my brightest and happiest smile.”可知，第一段描寫作者是怎么為無家可歸者施粥。
由第二段首句內(nèi)容“I was s happy that I had earned my service hurs in this way.”可知，第二段描寫作者對這次社區(qū)服務(wù)的感悟。
高分手段 1
行為類
倒：pur/decant
意識到：realize that/be aware that
③主張：urge sb. t d/advcate sb. t d
情緒類
感謝：gratefully/thankfully
急切的：anxius/eager
高分手段 2
[高分句型1] This experience made me realize that there are s many peple in this wrld wh need ur help. (由that引導(dǎo)的賓語從句和wh引導(dǎo)的定語從句)
[高分句型2] I will never frget the way they lked at me when they were given fd. (由關(guān)系代詞that引導(dǎo)的定語從句，省略了that和when引導(dǎo)的時間狀語從句)
【滿分范文】
As they came in my directin, I put n my brightest and happiest smile. I wanted t make them knw that I was really anxius t help them. T my relief, they smiled plitely back at me when they saw my smile, and I culd see their exhaustin in their eyes. I wanted t knw what they were ging thrugh and I was desperate t knw what I culd d fr them. They ndded gratefully as I pushed my spn int the pt and tk a large spnful and pured it int their bwls.
I was s happy that I had earned my service hurs in this way. This experience made me realize that there are s many peple in this wrld wh need ur help. It als made me realize that ur small act f kindness can make them feel warm and make a great difference t them. I will never frget the way they lked at me when they were given fd. I am anxius t urge the wrld t d everything pssible t help thse in need.

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